It’s been exactly three long weeks since Hope Hicks announced she was bailing on Donald Trump’s White House. But Samantha Bee is not ready to let her be forgotten in the dustbin of history.
“At times like this, when the government is falling apart and the Saturday Night Massacre has turned into an 11-week bender, it’s easy to lose track of important stories, even when they really, really matter,” Bee said. “Well, not tonight. I cannot let another week go by without saying, ‘Fuck you, Hope Hicks!’”
“You know, I’ve never talked much about Hope,” Bee continued, “because unlike every other member of the Trump orbit, she doesn’t careen onto our television screens, lobbing lies and racial invective every damn day. But that doesn’t mean she should get a pass.”
Bee pointed to details from a new New York magazine profile by Olivia Nuzzi that revealed details about Hicks, like the fact that she “doesn’t particularly like politics” and only left the White House because she was sick of the personal infighting—“not because of, say, Charlottesville.”
Before she left the White House this past week, Hicks reportedly handed out homemade cookies to her communications staff. “Each cookie package included a note she’d written in silver marker,” the profile reads. “‘Believe in love,’ read one message. Underneath, she’d drawn a small heart.”
“So at least we all know what it would look like if Zooey Deschanel joined the alt-right,” Bee joked.
“Hope Hicks, thanks to your force-field of bland, pretty whiteness, you’ll probably escape this nightmare presidency unscathed,” she added. “You’ll disappear into nice, wealthy anonymity in a nice town somewhere and someday you’ll go to the gates of the nice, white, Protestant heaven where St. Peter will laugh in your face and say, ‘You think you’re getting in here? You helped burn down democracy, bitch, get your ass downstairs!’”