Ahead of the second Thanksgiving of the COVID-19 era, Samantha Bee opened her late-night show this week by presenting good news and bad news. “The good news is that the pandemic is getting better,” she began. “The bad news? Your ass is going home for the holidays.”
As the Full Frontal host went on to explain, the widespread availability of vaccines, including for children as young as 5, means that most Americans can have a “relatively normal Turkey Day” this year. And she even took time to celebrate a “surprising twist” in the pandemic narrative.
“Some anti-vaxxers actually are getting the vaccine due to social pressure and work mandates,” Bee continued. “But not everything’s changed. They’re still very stupid.”
With that she shared details of a recent report about people who have reluctantly received the COVID-19 vaccine and then undergone useless “detox” baths with dangerous substances like Borax to supposedly remove it from their systems.
“You can’t de-vaccinate people!” Bee exclaimed. “At best, Borax-ing yourself will give you a chemical burn. But at worst, you could turn into the Joker. Even worse? It’s the Jared Leto Joker!”
“To be clear, there is no way to detox from a vaccination,” she added. “And I can’t believe I have to say this, but it is not safe to cut holes in your body or take baths in the same stuff they use to unclog drains, clean toilets, clear grout, wash floors—oh my God, Borax is good for everything but getting out vaccines!”
And yet as unadvisable as these “detox” baths are and while “no one should advocate for anyone to do things that will hurt themselves or anyone else,” she does see an upside.
“If what it takes for you to get your shot is believing you can detox yourself afterwards,” Bee concluded, “then, sir, I raise my glass of bleach to you!”
For more, listen to Samantha Bee on The Last Laugh podcast.