Samantha Bee kicked off this week’s episode of Full Frontal with a recap of President Trump’s “State of the Union address that almost wasn’t.”
“Absolutely everyone was there,” she said, “from Ted Cruz, who looked like a Civil War general who was not allowed back in the union, to Trump’s cabinet members, who were there to hand out their résumés before their president inevitably fires them.” She also shouted out 11-year-old Joshua Trump, who instantly “became the bravest person in Congress” by falling asleep during the president’s speech.
But it was Trump’s promises to restrict abortion rights that really got under Bee’s skin.
“To defend the dignity of every person, I am asking Congress to pass legislation to prohibit the late-term abortion of children who can feel pain in the mother’s womb,” the president declared at one point to cheers from the Republican side of the aisle.
“My ovaries just tried to move back to Canada,” Bee joked. “This is worrying. All Republicans try to restrict abortion rights, but Trump might have the Supreme Court to do it.”
“You know, I always knew someday a Republican president would manage to take away my right to choose,” she continued. “I just didn’t think it would be the kind of president who’s definitely tried to go Dutch on an abortion. Oh my God, this should not be your thing!”
Of course, this is not the first time Bee has suggested Trump has offered to pay for abortions. Last May, she told viewers, “If Trump hasn’t paid for at least half a dozen abortions, I will eat this blazer.”
“Actually, I take that back, that was wildly unfair,” she added. “If Trump hasn’t promised to pay for at least a half-dozen abortions and then not paid for them then written bad checks for them, ghosted the woman, then declared bankruptcy and eventually made Russia pay for them, I will eat this blazer.”