Full Frontal with Samantha Bee just happened to go on a three-week hiatus the same day that Justice Samuel Alito’s draft opinion aiming to overturn Roe v. Wade leaked to the press, making Thursday night the host’s first show since that bombshell news. “Just a beautiful day to kick back, enjoy the sun, and burn our throats to dust with endless screaming,” she joked.
Turns out, it was worth the wait.
Bee called the draft opinion a trailer for “how fucking horrible life is to become for a lot of people” once states are free to ban abortion altogether and tore apart the “infuriating” arguments that Alito makes, including his decision to cite a “shithead from the goddamn 17th century who defended marital rape and had women executed for ‘witchcraft.’”
She then went after conservatives who “cast themselves as the real victims” in response to mass protests, including in front of conservative Supreme Court justices’ homes. After playing clips of Senator Mitch McConnell, Fox News’ Sean Hannity, Piers Morgan and others calling for “civility,” Bee replied, “Pardon me, but in my civilest way possible, may I humbly request that you ‘fuck the fuck off!’”
“How dare Republicans demand civility as they strip away our civil rights?!” the host exclaimed. “When Susan Collins gets a sidewalk full of bubble-letter chalk, she is not the victim. When Amy Coney Barrett’s tacky-ass mansion is visited by a pack of roaming handmaids, she is not the victim.”
Instead, Bee listed off the “real victims in this atrocity,” including those who “could be charged with homicide” for having an abortion and people of color who will “depressingly bear the greatest brunt of reproductive decisions made by men who, as best as I can tell, believe women lay eggs.”
While abortion rates “won’t drop,” she said, the only thing that will change is that more pregnant people will die. But in an attempt to end on a less “hopeless” note, Bee urged her viewers to keep fighting for reproductive rights: “Because if they’re taking away our right to choose, fighting is the only choice we have left.”
For more, listen to Samantha Bee on The Last Laugh podcast: