“The president’s wang apparently looks like Toad from Mario,” Samantha Bee said at the top of her show on Wednesday night. “Keep that relatively happy news in your mind because we’re about to talk about something even grosser!”
As expected, Bee spent the first segment of Full Frontal on the sexual-assault allegation against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh and the “let’s face it, probably a week-long delay” to his confirmation process. “We knew he was against a woman’s right to choose,” she said. “We just didn’t know that included her right to choose not to be under Brett Kavanaugh.”
“Politicians and pundits are rushing to Kavanaugh’s defense, but some of them sound more like they’re confessing to something themselves,” Bee continued, pointing to everyone from Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley to New York Times columnist Bari Weiss, who have been questioning whether trying to rape someone in high school should disqualify someone from the highest court even if it is true.
“I can’t believe this needs saying but it’s never OK to try to rape somebody. Not even in high school,” Bee said. “You must not rape folks on a boat. You must not rape folks in a moat. You may not, must not after dinner. You cannot even if you’re a good swimmer. You must not rape a woman or man. You can quote me, Sam I am.”
“All this is a horrifying window into a certain kind of privileged childhood that isn’t supposed to come with consequences, a view that Kavanaugh shares,” Bee added later, throwing to a clip of the judge joking, “What happens at Georgetown Prep stays at Georgetown Prep.”
“It’s kind of like my high school slogan: Toronto Tigers: We don’t rape,” Bee replied. “Brett Kavanaugh is being considered to serve for life on the highest court of the land. The decisions he makes on the Supreme Court will impact women’s bodies for generations. Of course if he assaulted someone when he was 17 and lied about it should impact him for the rest of his life. It sure as hell impacted her.”
“Not to mention Kavanaugh tried to block a pregnant immigrant from getting an abortion,” the host continued. “He absolutely thought the decisions that a 17-year-old made mattered enough to permanently alter her life.”
Bee ended by pleading, “It’s been 27 years since Anita Hill. Can we please try to be less horrendous about it this time? We’ve had enough of these ‘90s reboots. We’re good.”