Samantha Bee: Trump’s Government Shutdown Is His Fyre Festival, and Chuck Schumer Is the Evian Guy
The ‘Full Frontal’ host also aired out Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, saying, ‘It’s not McConnell’s job to bend the Senate to the president’s whims.’
Samantha Bee could not have imagined that the government would still be shut down when she returned for her first new Full Frontal episode of 2019 this week. And with President Donald Trump and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi going at it over the State of the Union, the host pointed her finger at the one man who could reopen the government right now.
“Donald Trump’s raging wall boner may be the fountainhead of this shutdown,” Bee said, “but the true bunghole court preventing a functioning government is Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.” She explained the McConnell “rules Congress with an iron flipper” and “could end this” by overriding Trump’s inevitable veto for any funding bill that doesn’t include his wall, “But he’s hoping nobody notices that.”
Pointing out that the Senate unanimously passed a budget without funding for the wall last December, Bee said, “Senate Republicans don’t give a shit about the wall. They’re only keeping the government shut because that’s what the president wants.”
“Congress is a co-equal branch of government,” she argued. “It’s not McConnell’s job to bend the Senate to the president’s whims. It’s his job to help it govern, even if we had a normal president.” Bee called on Congress to “stand up here,” adding, “It is impossible to compromise with Donald Trump because there is simply no reason to believe he’ll do anything he says he will.”
Finally, she decided to explain the situation using an analogy anyone who has watched Netflix’s recent documentary about the Fyre Festival will surely understand.
“Giving Donald Trump $5 billion for a wall in 2019 would be like investing in the Fyre Festival in 2016,” Bee said. “Nancy Pelosi is the sweet Dutch pilot who’s telling us everything about this is terrible, you have to give people water and a place to shit. Mitch McConnell is FuckJerry, the social media team complicit at every level but pretending he has nothing to do with this shitstorm. Chuck Schumer is, I don’t know, probably the kindly man who tried to hold things together but almost had to suck a dick for Evian water. And Ja Rule is just Ja Rule.”
“You can’t reason with this Fyre Festival of an administration,” the host concluded. “If you try, you’re just going to end up being attacked by pigs.”