Seth Meyers one-upped CNN anchor Dana Bash calling the first presidential debate a “shitshow” by saying that watching Donald Trump and Joe Biden go at it was like “hotboxing a porta-potty with crystal meth in Phoenix in July.”
But the Late Night host spent most of his “A Closer Look” segment Wednesday night tearing apart Fox News for the way its pundits desperately tried to defend the president’s performance after the fact.
“The Fox News post-debate spin was even more pathetic than all the whining about the moderator,” Meyers said, referring to Fox News host Chris Wallace. In response to Fox commentator Dan Bongino calling Trump the “apex predator” and the “lion king,” the host joked, “He’s like a cross between He-Man, Xena Warrior Princess and a bowl of farina with googly eyes!”
“And I’m sorry, you watched that debate and saw an apex predator and gladiator-warrior fighter?” he asked. “Because he didn’t look like a predator to me. Most of the time he stood there with his head cocked like an old dog who just heard a twig snag. He held onto that podium like my grandma holds onto her walker when they’re reading the Powerball numbers.”
And when Fox News pundits and GOP operatives weren’t “slobbering all over” Trump, Meyers said they were “pretending they watched a completely different debate altogether.”
“Trump’s incapable of talking about policy because his record is dismal and he doesn’t know anything,” he continued. “There’s a raging pandemic, an economic crash and the west is on fire. And that’s why he’s talking about drugs and Hunter Biden and whatever other bullshit he and his gang of mafia bobbleheads concocted.”
As for the way Trump allies are defending his refusal to denounce white supremacist groups, Meyers turned to former Republican Senator Rick Santorum who said on CNN that Chris Wallace should have known Trump wouldn’t be willing to “say something bad” about people who support him.
“That’s your defense?!” Meyers asked. “So I guess by that same token, Trump would accept an endorsement from ISIS if they praised him. If they were smart, they’d start waving Trump flags from the back of their trucks.”
The host concluded by calling Trump’s performance at Tuesday’s debate “truly one of the most embarrassing debacles in American history,” adding that Trump “debased” both himself and the nation. “We got a close-up look at just how odious the president is,” he said. “His only goals are chaos and nihilism. He thinks that’s the path to power. And now it’s up to us to show him he’s wrong and restore our democracy by voting in overwhelming numbers to repudiate him and everything he stands for.”
“Because right now our democracy is a…” Meyers said, throwing to Jake Tapper who finished his sentence with, “hot mess inside a dumpster fire inside a trainwreck.”
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