As expected, this week’s Saturday Night Live opened on C-SPAN and the congressional testimony of Michael Cohen—played as always by special guest Ben Stiller.
Cohen was introduced by Kenan Thompson’s House Oversight Committee Chairman Elijah Cummings, who began by teasing an appearance by Melissa Villaseñor’s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, “because it’s all anyone cares about anymore.”
After explaining that he wrote his opening statement with “some help from the guys who wrote Green Book,” Cohen said, “Thank you for inviting me here today to correct the record under oath. Of course, the first time I testified was also under oath. But this time, I like, really mean it.”
The second big cameo of the night came in the form of former SNL cast member Bill Hader, who took on the role of irate Republican congressman Jim Jordan.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Chairman,” Hader’s Jordan said. “And good afternoon to you, you lying piece of human trash!” He added, “Mr. Chairman, you’re right that I’m angry. I’m angry that I have to sit here through this two-bit dirtbag flea circus. I’m so angry I couldn’t even wear a jacket today!”
When Jordan asked Cohen “what other criminals and lowlifes” he’s worked for, Cohen shot back, “I was the deputy finance chairman for the Republican Party, sir.”
“Mr. Cohen, why are we supposed to believe you now?” Jordan asked him. “I mean, you lied about Trump being a good guy. You lied about Trump not committing any crimes. You lied about Trump not—damnit, I’m doing it again!”
The cold open sketch ended with a heartfelt speech from Stiller’s Cohen: “Look, maybe I’m not a good person. Maybe I’m a liar. Maybe I’m a fool. Maybe I ruined hundreds of people’s lives.”
“I’m sorry, is there a ‘but’ coming?” Cummings asked.
“No, there isn’t, thank you,” he replied. “And live from New York, it’s Saturday night!”