Saturday’s cold open featured two prominent guest stars in addition to Goodman, but first we were treated to an update from Kate McKinnon’s Jeff Sessions, who tried to come up with an excuse for firing FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe hours before he could receive his full retirement benefits. But the attorney general failed.
“I don’t know, I can’t even dance around it, Trump made me do it. McCabe, he saw too much!” Sessions told Anderson Cooper. “I’m just a simple man who wanted to make things bad for immigrants, and now here I am taking away the pension of a Christian white. It ain’t right.”
As for the rumors that he could be the next to go, Sessions said, “Frankly, I can’t believe I’ve lasted this long.”
When Goodman’s Tillerson emerged, he calmly addressed the reports that he found out he had been fired from Trump’s tweet. “Well, that’s not true,” he said. “John Kelly called me personally. He said, where are you? I said, sir, that’s private. He said oh, good, are you on the toilet? Because I got some news.”
“It’s just crazy how one day you’re the CEO of Exxon, a $50 billion company,” a quietly furious Tillerson added, “and the next day you get fired by a man who used to sell steaks in the mail.”
Next up, Cooper was joined by two returning SNL cast members: Host Bill Hader—who reprised his spot-on Anthony Scaramucci impression—and Fred Armisen, who was back as Michael Wolff.
“How you doing? It’s me the Mooch,” Hader’s Scaramucci said. “Like these threads? First suit made by the Olive Garden.” He told Tillerson he was sorry for what happened to him, asking, “You and I are kind of the same now, right?” Tillerson just laughed in his face and said, “No.”
Then, out of nowhere, Tillerson shouted out, “Trump is a moron!” Laughing, he added, “Sorry, I blurted that one out. Feels nice to say what I want. Call Jurassic Park, because the Rexy is loose!”