‘SNL’ Opens With Trump and His New BFF Grand Jury Foreperson Emily Kohrs
“They almost had me and then this little horse girl comes in and saves the day!” the former president said with a smile.
NBC
For the first time in a long time, Saturday Night Live opened this week’s show with James Austin Johnston’s Donald Trump, who was addressing the residents of East Palestine, Ohio (“Not a great name!”) after this month’s toxic train derailment.
“I had to come here and see these wonderful people who have been abandoned by Biden,” Trump said. “He’s on spring break in Ukraine with his friend Zelensky in the T-shirt, very disrespectful.” From there, the former president continued to rant about McDonald’s, Trump water, Schitt’s Creek and Rihanna’s pregnant Super Bowl performance, before circling back to the topic at hand.
“Your train exploded and who do we blame?” he asked. “We blame Buttigieg. Pete Buttigieg, this was his responsibility. Unfortunately, he was too busy being a nerd and being gay to have dealt with the very much more important issue of should trains have big poison? And I have to tell you, I call him Pete Butt, there’s no way around it, that’s just the best one. Believe me, I’ve tried it every which way and it really doesn’t get better than Pete Butt.”
But the real highlight of the sketch came when Trump invited Grand Jury forewoman Emily Kohrs (a pitch-perfect Chloe Fineman) to join him at the podium.
“She’s an odd duck, but we like her,” Trump said. “She’s either 7 or 40, we can’t tell. And she’s got a big secret for such a kooky little lady.”
Sign Up for Our Beast Digest Newsletter
By clicking “SUBSCRIBE” you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
“Potentially… I might… I don’t know…” she replied coyly. “You just want me to ruin the case, but I guess I can say that we have been saying your name a lot.”
“Can you believe that? They almost had me and then this little horse girl comes in and saves the day,” Trump said with a smile. “Do we like her or what? She looks like Haley Joel Osment and she’s my best friend!”
For more, listen and subscribe to The Last Laugh podcast.
See more of our coverage in your search results.
Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.
Register below to read this article for free or subscribe
to unlock unlimited access to The Daily Beast.
Monthly
$1
First month then $5.99/month
Annual
$35
First year then $59.99/year
Premium
$79
First year then $119.99/year
*Substack access provided by the next business day, using your subscription email. Choosing the Premium plan constitutes your permission to share your subscription email with Substack and your agreement to Substack’s Privacy Policy.
Already have an account? Sign In
Looks like you already have a subscription!
You're all set!
Thanks for subscribing.