“Well, last week we had six democratic candidates,” Colin Jost said at the top of this week’s “Weekend Update” on Saturday Night Live. “And this week it’s become like my dad’s favorite radio station: just the oldies.” He then added, “I’ve got to say, honestly, I cannot be more excited for Biden-Trump debates. They’re going to be the first debates that have to be moderated by a Jamaican nurse.”
“At this point, between Bernie, Biden and Trump, I think the next debate should be on that cruise ship and whoever can beat coronavirus should become our next president,” Jost joked.
Michael Che, meanwhile, said he finds it “hilarious” watching white people fight over Biden and Sanders. “I don’t even care who wins, just as long as they beat Trump,” he said. “I’m not even really a Democrat, I just vote not Republican. Democrats are like condoms to me. I’ll use them because it’s safer, I guess, but it doesn’t feel good.”
From there, Jost moved on to mock Trump’s recent visit to the CDC, during which he suggested he has a “natural ability” for combating pandemics like coronavirus.
“Oh my God, we’re all gonna die,” Jost said in response. “What does that mean he has a ‘natural ability’ for coronavirus? I don’t know, guys, maybe Trump’s born with it? Or… maybe it’s brain disease.”
Che went on to report that the odds of he and Jost catching the disease were about the same as them landing on SNL. “And here we are, Colin, so we’re both gonna catch it,” he said. “Yeah, we had a good run, we accomplished a lot. Can you believe we both almost got to marry Scarlett Johansson?”
Finally, Jost shared the breaking news that an attendee of CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference where both Trump and Vice President Mike Pence spoke last week, has tested positive for coronavirus.
“Worse, it was the guy in charge of handling Trump’s flag,” he said, showing the photo of Trump making out with the stars and stripes.
For more, listen and subscribe to The Last Laugh podcast.