The Daily Beast reported on Friday that Republican senators were literally fist-bumping each other once it became clear that Brett Kavanaugh had the votes to become a Supreme Court justice. Saturday Night Live took viewers inside their locker room victory party in this week’s cold open.
“There are a lot of pacemakers being put to the test tonight,” Heidi Gardner, as CNN’s Dana Bash, reported. Putting their “victory in context,” Sen. Mitch McConnell told her, “It’s up there with Vietnam, for sure.”
And as Kate McKinnon’s Lindsey Graham said, “We made a lot of women real worried today but I’m not getting pregnant, so I don’t care!” Graham added that he knew all those protesters outside the Capitol building were with the Republicans “because they were shouting ‘me too.’”
Then there was Cecily Strong’s Susan Collins, who said, “The last thing I wanted was to make this about me. That’s why I told everyone to tune in at 3:00 p.m. to tell all my female supporters, psych!” She added, “Listen, I think it’s important to believe women until it’s time to stop.”
Meanwhile, over on the “losing team,” a sad Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said, “Well, the Dems lost another one. We thought this time would be better than the Anita Hill hearing because Dr. Ford was white, but turned out Brett Kavanaugh was white too and we were completely blindsided by that.”
The sketch ended with the Republicans donning goggles and spraying Miller High Life—the “champagne of beers”—all over each other to celebrate Brett Kavanaugh—“the Natty Light of judges.”
“Let’s keep this horny male energy going till the midterms!” Graham concluded.