Get a Room

So Gwyneth Paltrow Has the Perfect Divorce, Too

Gwyneth Paltrow believes she has made a positive contribution to the culture of a divorce. Maybe so, but her self-congratulatory prattle still irks.

The weeks after Christmas are the busiest times of the year in divorce lawyers’ offices.

Husbands and wives, pushed to breaking point, may just about make it through the holiday season for the sake of the family, but, come January, the house of cards all too often comes tumbling down, to the accompaniment of vociferous arguments and a blizzard of court filings.

Well, if you are thinking about getting a divorce, you may or may not (depending on how crappy you want to feel about yourself) like to take some tips on the process from Gwyneth Paltrow. In her latest interview, with InStyle magazine, the Goop goddess—who has become as famous for advocating vaginal steams and super-expensive lifestyle products on her website as she once was for her acting chops and her tearful Oscar speech—declares that her “conscious uncoupling” from Coldplay frontman Chris Martin has “contributed something positive to the culture of divorce.”

So not only does Gwyneth have the perfect career, hair, and skin tone; she also has the perfect divorce. And she’s not afraid to tell you so.

Gwyneth, you may recall, cited at the time of the announcement of her breakup with Chris the work of New Age doctors Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami, who claim we are divorcing more because we are living longer, and the notion of living longer with just one person is impractical.

The Oscar-winning actress is unapologetic in lifting the lid on her idyllic, freshly uncoupled existence with Martin for the magazine, and from the way the actress tells it, although she split with him two years ago, they still have an amazing life together.

“He’s at my house every single day,” she remarks, “We still have our family life.”

Which is, admittedly, great for their kids (and let’s put aside the question of why it was necessary to get divorced, or indeed married, in the first place).

She also says, “To this day, Chris would take a bullet for me, even though I’m not his wife. I honestly think Chris and I have contributed something positive to the culture of divorce.”

While holding herself up as an example for divorcing couples everywhere, Paltrow, who appears on the February cover of the magazine, also says she’s learned not to care about critics making fun of her Goop website or her extreme health tips.

Which is lucky, as they are easily mocked. Who, for example, could forget the time she sang the praises of the Mugwort V-Steam?

But for Gwyneth, it’s easy to ignore the haters because this is missionary work: “It used to be that I would talk about something or write about it, and people would be like, ‘What the f--k is she talking about? She’s a witch!’ And then later on it would sort of catch on... I’m like, this is my role. I’m here to do this. A friend told me if you’re a trailblazer, you’re the first one through and you get the cuts because you’re hacking the path.”