Trump’s Press Sec: He Called Me to Insist His Penis Wasn’t Toadstool-Shaped

Three years ago, adult-film star Stormy Daniels scarred us all forever by describing Donald Trump’s penis as being like “a toadstool.” She wrote in her 2018 book, which dished the dirt on her alleged affair with the ex-president: “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”

Well, according to Trump’s former White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, that truly hideous description didn’t go down very well with Trump either. The Washington Post reports that Grisham writes in her new book that Trump once felt the need to call her from Air Force One to inform her that his penis was neither small nor shaped a toadstool.

The anecdote is just one of several mind-blowing details from the Post’s new account of Grisham’s upcoming book, I’ll Take Your Questions Now. Here are some of the others:

Trump allegedly told Putin that his tough-guy act was all for show

Grisham recounts a meeting between Trump and Vladimir Putin in Japan in 2019 where he allegedly admitted to the Russian president that he was being mean to him to impress the news cameras. At that G-20 meeting in Osaka, Trump wagged his finger at Putin and told him: “Don’t meddle in the election.” In her book, Grisham recalls seeing Trump tell Putin: “I’m going to act a little tougher with you for a few minutes. But it’s for the cameras, and after they leave, we’ll talk. You understand.”

Grisham writes Trump hid a colonoscopy appointment because he was worried about butt jokes

Trump’s unexplained trip to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in 2019 sparked theories that the president had a secret illness. The explanation, according to Grisham, is much more straightforward. She hints that Trump went for a colonoscopy, but didn’t disclose the reason for the trip because he didn’t want to be “the butt of a joke” on late-night TV.

Later in the book, she writes that Trump underwent a procedure—she doesn’t name it but The New York Times reports that it was the colonoscopy—without anesthesia because he was too egotistical to temporarily assign power to the vice president. “As with COVID, he was too wrapped up in his own ego and his own delusions about his invincibility,” she writes.

Trump supposedly cuts his own hair with a massive pair of scissors

According to the Post, Grisham’s book spills details about Trump’s hair-care routine—including the claim that he cuts his own hair. Grisham writes in her book that Trump carries around “a huge pair of scissors that could probably cut a ribbon at an opening of one of his properties.”

Staff are said to have lied to Trump so Air Force One could be used to transport George H.W. Bush’s casket

When former President George H. W. Bush died in 2018, White House staff wanted to follow tradition to allow the Bush family use of Air Force One. But, according to Grisham, they hid that plan from Trump. “We knew he wouldn’t be OK with that, even for a brief trip,” Grisham writes. “Dead bodies, death, sickness—those things really seemed to creep him out.” In the end, the plane was loaned to the Bushes for the funeral.

Trump allegedly ogled an unnamed female staffer

Aside from the aforementioned toadstool call, Grisham repeatedly alleges that Trump was sexually inappropriate in her presence. She claims that Trump asked her then-boyfriend, who also worked for him, to rate her sexual performance. Grisham also writes that Trump was obsessed with one unnamed female press aide, and allegedly once demanded she was brought to him on Air Force One so he could “look at her [behind].”

In a statement sent to the Post, Trump’s spokesperson Liz Harrington trashed Grisham’s book, calling it “another pitiful attempt to cash in on the President’s strength and sell lies about the Trump family.” Harrington described Grisham “a disgruntled former employee” and said publishers “should be ashamed of themselves for preying on desperate people who see the short-term gain in writing a book full of falsehoods.”