As Stephen Colbert pointed out Tuesday night, FiveThirtyEight now has Joe Biden as a 99-percent favorite to win the Democratic presidential nomination over Bernie Sanders. And that was before Biden crushed Sanders in the crucial swing state of Michigan.
“Betrayed by the 99 percent!” Colbert said, as Sanders. “What’s next? Et tu, Metamucil?"
“But Joe seems intent on bringing down his own odds,” the Late Show host continued. “Today, while campaigning at an auto plant in Detroit, he was confronted by a pro-gun voter, and he didn’t handle it all that well.”
After a voter accused him of trying to “take away our Second Amendment rights,” Biden shot back, “You’re full of shit!”
“Wow, Joe, what happened to malarkey?” Colbert asked in response. “The last thing we need is another president we have to bleep!”
On top of cursing out the voter, Biden also threatened to “slap” him in the face. “Wow, he is threatening to fight a voter!” Colbert said. “We haven’t seen this kind of rough-and-tumble campaign since William Henry Harrison’s ‘Tippecanoe and nut-punch too!’”
“Biden’s team is aware that the only thing that can stop Joe Biden now is Joe Biden,” the host added, previewing the campaign’s new strategy: shorter speeches.
Colbert showed what that might look like with a clip of Biden’s new two-word stump speech: “Barack Obama!”
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