“The president has fled the country, knowing we were back on the air,” Stephen Colbert said at the top of his monologue Monday night.
Returning from a weeklong vacation, the Late Show host dove straight into the president’s official state visit to Great Britain, which included afternoon tea with Prince Charles. Imitating Trump, Colbert said, “Hey, you’re that guy that tagged Princess Di, right? Up top! You know, I don’t like to brag about this, but I dated her for a while. That’s true, me and Moby both dated her.”
From there, Colbert moved on to mock Trump for greeting Queen Elizabeth with a “ceremonial fist bump” and noted that she gave him a first-edition copy of Winston Churchill’s World War II book.
“Look, thank you so much, but don’t tell me how it ends,” Colbert said as Trump. “I really like that German Charlie Chaplin who invented the high-five. I forget his name.” As that joke drew a couple groans, he added, “We’re off to a good start, first night back after vacation.”
And finally, the host saved his most brutal material for Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, who he joked were “haunting Buckingham Palace.”
“Yes, listen children, sometimes at night if you listen closely,” he said, “you can hear them having no business being there.”