Stephen Colbert: Stormy Daniels Affair Won’t Damage ‘Pussy-Grabber’ Trump

As the country prepares for Stormy Daniels’ big sit-down with Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes this Sunday, Stephen Colbert is giving his fellow CBS-ers some extra promotion with a new segment called “Stormy Watch.”

“The Stormy Daniels story just won’t go away,” the Late Show host said Wednesday night, “no matter how many photos of her bustline Anderson Cooper slowly zooms in on every night.” He joked that Cooper’s CNN show has been renamed “Anderson Cooper 36DD” and Wolf Blitzer “now goes by his porn name: Wolf Blitzer.”

“Previously on ‘Stormy Watch,’ Ms. Daniels alleged she had an affair with Donald Trump and that she was paid $130,000 to sign a non-disclosure agreement just days before the election,” Colbert told viewers. “Imagine how damaging an affair with a porn star would have been to his image as a family-values pussy-grabber.”

Even more outrageous, in Colbert’s opinion, are the reports that Trump made members of his senior staff sign NDAs in the first months of his presidency. “This is troubling, in two ways,” the host said.

“One, that’s totally illegal. Government officials work for us, not Trump. He can’t make them sign NDAs,” Colbert said to applause from his audience. “And two, it really makes me think Trump has had sex with his entire staff.”