Stephen Colbert admitted on Monday night that Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett is probably “inevitable—like death and Donald Trump not paying his taxes.”
This brought the Late Show host to The New York Times’ bombshell report exposing 20 years of the president’s tax returns, including the revelation that he paid just $750 in federal income taxes the year he was elected.
“$750?! Trump paid Stormy Daniels $130,000, and he screwed the country way more!” Colbert joked. As for the more than $70,000 in hairstyling expenses he wrote off during his time on The Apprentice, the host added. “He spent $70,000 on that? I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but...he should have paid more.”
On top of that, we now know that Trump could owe the IRS up to $100 million in unpaid taxes and penalties. “There’s a good old chance that good old fake billionaire President Trump wouldn’t be able to pay that bill because it turns out the president’s businesses have amassed chronic losses that he aggressively employs to avoid paying taxes,” Colbert explained. “It’s a classic Producers situation. Trump tried to earn more money with a flop than with a hit. Also, there are Nazis.”
“In fact, since 2000, Trump’s beloved golf courses have been $315.6 million in the hole,” he continued. “Someone really needs to explain to him that in golf you want a low score—in golf business you really don’t want to finish 315 million under par.”
“One of the few things that earned Trump any money was The Apprentice, which brought him a total of $427 million,” Colbert noted. “So Trump made more money in reality TV than he did in reality. That explains his new series, ‘So You Thought He Was a Millionaire.’”
Overall the Times determined that Trump is on the hook for $421 million in personal debts. “Normally you don’t find someone who owes that kind of cash in the Oval Office, you find them washed up on the banks of a river.” Colbert said. “And Trump only looks like he washed up on the banks of a river.”
For more, listen and subscribe to The Last Laugh podcast.