SORRY, WHAT?

Trump, 79, Has Baffling Plan to Rename the Republican Party After Himself

The president’s new nickname idea is not one of his best.

Donald Trump has come up with a new nickname for the Republican Party.

He wants to name it after himself.

“There is a new word for a TRUMP REPUBLICAN,” the 79-year-old boldly declared on Truth Social media Wednesday, before asking his followers what exactly the word ought to be.

Scorning the low-hanging fruit of ‘Trumpublican,’ a suggestion so obvious even his son Don Jr. thought of it, the president mused: “It is, TEPUBLICAN??? Or, TPUBLICAN???”

The last of these options would require MAGA supporters to master an impressive feat of pronunciation known to language experts as the “voiceless labial-alveolar plosive.”

They say that to utter a “t” and “p” sound simultaneously, without any intervening vowels, those identifying as “Tpublicans” would need to press their lips together and place their tongue against the ridge behind their teeth.

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It requires blocking off the flow of air through the nose and pushing the breath forcefully outward, without activating the vocal chords.

This is very hard to do. Perhaps accounting for why the “voiceless labial-alveolar plosive” is ordinarily only heard in the high mountains of the North Caucasus, certain parts of rural Ghana, and on a remote island off the coast of Papua New Guinea.

INCREASINGLY UNWELL

We Can See Trump Is in Gross Decline: Psychologist

Will Neal

Trump’s further assertion that “almost everyone” is a “TRUMP REPUBLICAN” comes as his nationwide approval rating hovers at about 38 percent, and as the embattled president struggles to retain full control of his party amid a confluence of simultaneous scandals and crises.

Concern has also continued to mount over the state of Trump’s cognitive health amid frequent memory lapses, difficulty articulating his thoughts and sudden bursts of aggression some experts say could represent the early stages of dementia.

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