‘TASTE FOR DOG BLOOD’

Jordan Klepper Worries Kristi Noem Will Kill Biden’s Dog, Too

“The Daily Show” co-host was baffled by the South Dakota governor’s choice to write about committing dog murder, and even more confused when she declared she’d do it again.

There have been few stories throughout the 2024 presidential campaign that have gathered as much attention as Cricketgate, after vice presidential hopeful Kristi Noem casually confessed in her new book that she once purposely shot and killed her 14-month-old dog, Cricket. It’s the sort of thing that, for The Daily Show correspondent and co-host Jordan Klepper, raises more questions than answers.

“I’m not a political expert, but I think if I had to give a politician advice, I would say the top thing is to not shoot your puppy,” he said. “The second thing would be to not write about shooting your puppy.”

Klepper tried to give the South Dakota governor the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately Noem’s follow-up admission in her book—where she claims that she also murdered her billy goat—didn’t do her any favors either. An astonished Klepper asked, “What did the goat do?” It sounds like she saw it and was like, ‘Well, I can’t leave any witnesses.’”

Although Klepper was disgusted by the animal cruelty on display, comparing Noem unfavorably to Cruella de Vil, he was mainly concerned about why her editors allowed her to publish such a story anyway. “Was No Going Back supposed to be the title, or was that what her editor said when they read this section?” He asked, to heavy laughs from the audience. “I mean, what were the alternate titles? ‘For God’s sake, don’t include this?’”

Klepper ended the segment by focusing on Noem’s non-apology on CBS’s Face the Nation Sunday, which included her declaration that, were she the owner of Joe Biden’s German shepherd, she’d have killed him too. Biden’s dog, Commander, has a history of biting people, with at least 24 reported incidents already involving members of the Secret Service alone. However, Commander has already been removed from the White House to a safer environment.

“This woman has a taste for dog blood!” Klepper declared. “It’s like she thought [the 1989 movie] All Dogs Go to Heaven was a personal challenge.”

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Michael Boyle

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