The Parmigiano-Reggiano industry thinks PornHub has been a very naughty boy who needs a good spanking—or, potentially, a massive lawsuit.
It’s a conflict that only the horniest cheese-lover could have concocted after staring a bit too longingly at a wheel of brie or a wedge of gouda.
The Parmigiano-Reggiano Cheese Consortium (yes, that is apparently a real organization) wants to flog adult-film-streaming site PornHub for referencing its peerlessly chaste cheese in a recent online advertisement.
As part of a campaign for its new premium subscription service, PornHub Premium, PornHub premiered an ad featuring a couple buying cheese.
The man wants to splurge on the illicit delicacy of Parmigiano-Reggiano (of course, the man does).
When the woman questions his desire, he responds: “Look, they say it’s the PornHub Premium of cheeses.”
That’s all it took for the Parmigiano-Reggiano industry to have a cow.
The consortium moved faster and more loudly than a celebrity in a well-choreographed sex-tape leak, calling for the “immediate suspension of the commercial” and the “immediate intervention of the Italian and European authorities to protect the image of the Parmigiano-Reggiano.”
Really, how dare those purveyors of smut sully the chaste reputation of Parmigiano-Reggiano? That fine noble cheese, so flaky and delicate and nutty, so softly it crumbles under one’s touch, how richly it yields from teeth to tongue, and how creamily it slides…
Sorry, lawyers, I’ll stop right there.
Playing the holier-than-thou card, the consortium released a statement.
It denounced PornHub for running an advertisement that “vulgarly aimed at making a profit from the exploitation of the fame gained by Parmigiano-Reggiano,” according to a translation reported by The Guardian.
The sainted Parmigiano-Reggiano, with its shavings as pure as the driven snow, shall not be uttered in the same breath as PornHub because such a comparison is “not only distasteful and unacceptable, but offensive for our producers and their work.”
One would think that PornHub wouldn’t shy away from a sticky mess, but rather, lap it up.
However, it has already doctored the advertisement, placing a jarring bleep over “Parmigiano-Reggiano.” Links to the former video do not work.
PornHub press representative Mike Williams “politely decline[d] to comment.” Rather, he directed The Daily Beast to its amended video, suggesting it was a response to the cheesy flare-up.
But did PornHub blow its load too soon?
“It"s a shame that they decided to do it, because I don’t see the consortium as having any legal claim,” Peter Sloane, a trademark lawyer and partner at Leason Ellis LLP, told The Daily Beast.
Even if the Parmigiano-Reggiano Cheese Consortium has the stamina to go for the money shot, it simply may not have a case.
“The problem is that the consortium finds it distasteful, but just because it’s distasteful doesn’t mean that it’s actionable,” Sloane said.
He did add that he could only speak to a U.S.-related suit: “Trademark is territorial, and perhaps, the consortium has a basis to complain under Italian law. That may be why PornHub decided to censor the advertisement.”
In its statement, spokesperson Igino Morini made the distinction that PornHub used “Parmigiano-Reggiano, not the term ‘Parmesan’ which can be used generically in the U.S.”
But Sloane said that shouldn’t make a difference in the U.S.
“It doesn’t matter whether it’s a generic term or a trademark, like Rolls-Royce,” Sloane said. “Even if it’s a registered and protectable trademark, it’s not a basis for complaining.”
Then again, PornHub may have another trick up its sleeve (or other regions).
While PornHub may have been premature in amending its ad, that may also have been the strongest tactic. The bleeped version makes the reference to Parmigiano-Reggiano all the more obvious, biting its thumb wantonly at the consortium.
“Whether or not [PornHub] were trying to avoid legal issues is another question, but I think it is potentially a ‘screw you’ that draws more attention to the ad,” Sloane said.
“Presumably, the ad would fade into the mist if it [the consortium] didn’t say anything. Maybe the consortium is hurting itself to allow PornHub to get that attention.”
As usual, it looks like PornHub may be the one getting the happy ending.
