WHY, GOD?

This Is Bill O’Reilly Reading Filthy, Un-hearable Lines From His Audiobook

This is the last time you will willingly listen to Bill O’Reilly’s voice.

Cary Horowitz/REUTERS

The nightmare’s almost over.

Bill O’Reilly was fired yesterday from his long-running career at Fox News. I’m not sure what I’ll miss most about him… the heaps of sexual harassment allegations? Maybe the time when he said slaves were “well fed”? How about when he called a black woman “hot chocolate,” or when he compared Rep. Maxine Waters’ hair to a “James Brown wig”?

Perhaps what I’ll long for most is when he closed his show [email protected]#king live.

The news anchor will hopefully soon fade into obscurity, after cashing in his $25 million golden parachute from Fox News. But before he goes… one more not-so-gentle reminder of how gross this guy is.

ICYMI, in 1998, O’Reilly published a novel, Those Who Trespass, about a TV journalist trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill deserving people—i.e., those who messed with the journalist’s storied career. Sound familiar? One of the characters, a powerful “bitch,” is named Hillary, if that’s not obvious enough for you.

Not only did Bill bring this book into the world, he also made an audiobook.

Daily Beast Senior Editor Andrew Kirell unearthed the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) passages from these tapes. Fair warning: They are filthy. O’Reilly delivers un-hearable lines like “Off with those pants,” “Cup your breasts,” and… gah, just listen.

And then go shower for a thousand years.