On Sunday night, John Oliver poured cold water all over Trump’s victory lap following the death of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. Trump’s abandonment of the Kurds in northern Syria, Oliver noted, has not only led to his authoritarian pals Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Vladimir Putin carving up the region but also to the escape of over a hundred ISIS prisoners. On Monday evening, Trevor Noah got in on the act.
“Now, whether you like Trump or not, you have to admit this is a big win in the fight against ISIS. But Trump is the only person who can turn a unifying occasion into a dick-measuring contest,” offered Noah.
The Daily Show host then threw to Trump’s Baghdadi presser, where the president bragged, “This is the biggest there is. This is the worst ever. Osama bin Laden was very big, but Osama bin Laden became very big with the World Trade Center. This is a man who built a whole, as he would like to call it a country—a caliphate—and was trying to do it again.”
“What are you doing?!” exclaimed Noah. “You don’t have to pretend this guy is a bigger get than bin Laden. First of all, it’s childish. Secondly, he’s not. Bin Laden changed the entire world forever. It’s 18 years after 9/11 and I still can’t take four ounces of lotion on an airplane. I go on vacation, and my skin is dry as fuck. That’s how bad of a terrorist bin Laden was! We all ashy in these streets because of bin Laden!”
“The whole thing is ridiculous,” Noah added, “because we all know who really made this thing happen. It was that K-9,” referring to the hero dog who aided (and was subsequently injured in) the Baghdadi raid. “Or as I call it, a dog. That dog deserves the highest honor America has to offer, which is its own movie.”
Noah then aired a trailer for a saccharine comedy film starring the heroic K-9, giving him the fake-Hollywood love he so richly deserves.