“If you are facing the biggest crisis of your presidency, what would you do? Probably lay low and focus on putting out this fire. But you see, you’re not Donald Trump, because if you were Donald Trump, you would start a whole new fire,” said Trevor Noah.
The Daily Show host dedicated a big segment of his program Monday night to the latest controversy surrounding President Trump: At 11 p.m. Sunday night, he took it upon himself to announce that the U.S. would be withdrawing its troops from northern Syria in order to pave the way for a Turkish invasion, thereby abandoning the Kurdish allies who’ve fought alongside American soldiers to vanquish ISIS, and appealing to the desires of despots Erdogan and Assad (and, by extension, Putin).
If that weren’t enough, Kurdish forces are currently holding many of the 10,000 captured ISIS fighters, so leaving the Kurds to the slaughter is not only unconscionable, but could also allow ISIS to rebuild. Officials at the Pentagon reported being “blindsided” by the move.
“OK, this is just insane. At 11 p.m. last night President Trump announced—at 11 p.m.—that the U.S. would be pulling its troops out of a key part of Syria. Even crazier is that he didn’t tell the Pentagon,” offered Noah.
After receiving blowback from those who routinely kiss his tuchis—including former U.N. ambassador Nikki Haley, Republican Sens. Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell, and even his beloved Fox News, Trump issued the following message (via Twitter, of course):
“OK, OK! No, no, no! Before you judge Trump, he is technically correct: There is nobody who matches his wisdom,” joked Noah, adding, “No other person had the wisdom to stare directly into a solar eclipse.”
The comedian did, however, have some advice for the Kurds to get on Trump’s good side: “Kurdish forces, you need to phone Trump, and you need to tell him you have dirt on Joe Biden—but if he wants it, he’s going to have to give you military aid, or as I like to call it, a kurd pro quo.”