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Trump Repeatedly Fantasizes About Beating Up Biden at Florida Rally

The recently hospitalized president daydreamed aloud Sunday night about how he badly he would beat up fellow septuagenarian Joe Biden.

As this dreadful election cycle hurtles toward its sorry climax, we have reached a point that was perhaps always inevitable—the incumbent president threatening to kick his Democratic rival’s ass. At a Sunday night rally in Florida, the recently hospitalized president, who famously believes that doing exercise makes people die young because humans have a finite amount of energy like a battery, daydreamed aloud about how he badly he would beat up fellow septuagenarian Joe Biden if he had the chance. “Those legs have gotten very thin,” Trump said of his rival. “Not a lot of base. You wouldn’t have to close, you wouldn’t have to close the fist.” The president’s musings were met with chants of “KICK HIS ASS!”