Politics

08.25.13

Fringe Factor: Obama Hates White People—and White Dogs

The Boy Scouts will award merit badges for sodomy, radical environmentalists get all the science grants, and the president is prejudiced against white pooches. Caitlin Dickson on the week's wackiest proclamations.

Sunny is cute and all, but have you noticed that the President doesn’t own any white dogs? And Obama is definitely to blame for the government response to a disaster that took place three years before he was elected. It’s Hate On The President week at the Fringe Factor.

Maine: President Obama Hates White People

The Portland Press Herald reported Monday that, while speaking to a room full of Republicans at a private fundraiser last week, Maine Governor Paul LePage said the president “hates white people.” Two state lawmakers who asked that their names not be used confirmed with the local newspaper that they’d heard the governor lament President Obama’s failure to be the best president ever by failing to highlight his biracial heritage because of his hatred of white people. “It was one little thing from a speech, but I think most people there thought it was totally inappropriate.” The next day, however, LePage--who has compared the IRS to the Gestapo, said he would tell Obama to “go to hell” if he was elected governor, and this very month joked that he wanted to blow up the Press Herald building--insisted those two anonymous lawmakers were sorely mistaken. “No, I never said that. And you guys are all about gossip,” he told the local Portland TV station wagging his finger at the camera. Meanwhile, in other Obama-is-a-racist news, The Daily Caller made the very keen observation that the first family, which just acquired its second Portuguese Water Dog puppy this week, doesn’t “have any white dogs.”

Louisiana: More Republicans Blame Obama for Katrina Response than Bush

For most of the country, the memory of President Bush’s disastrous handling of Hurricane Katrina won’t soon be forgotten--except in the state most devastated by the storm. A Public Policy Polling Survey released this week reveals that 29 percent of Louisiana Republicans blame President Obama, a freshman senator at the time of the hurricane, for the federal government’s response, while 28 percent blamed George W. Bush. Perhaps even more shocking than the fact that anyone holds Obama--who would not become president until three years after Bush infamously eyed ravaged New Orleans from Air Force One--responsible for the Katrina response, was that 44 percent of Republicans who responded to the survey said they didn’t know who to blame.

Colorado: Chicken and Barbecue Make Black People Poor

Colorado State Senator Vicki Marble knows exactly how to curb poverty rates among black people and Hispanics: cut down on all that chicken and barbecue. During a meeting of the Colorado Economic Opportunity Poverty Reduction Task Force on Wednesday, Marble attempted to blame racial disparities in the poverty rate on diet. She noted that while certain “problems in the black race,” like sickle-cell anemia and diabetes, are genetic and unavoidable, “I’ve got to say, I’ve never had better barbecue and better chicken and ate better in my life than when you go down south and you--I love it.” She then argued that while Mexicans eat fresh vegetables in Mexico, they adopt bad eating habits once they move to the U.S., eliciting, as one senator described it, “an audible gasp in the room.”

Christian Radio: Boy Scouts to Give Merit Badges for Sodomy and Cannibalism

Boulder-based Christian Right radio hosts Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner are seriously concerned about the Boy Scout’s decision to allow openly gay members. Because by not ostracizing gay kids who also want to learn to be prepared, the group is essentially “going through the list of sins in the Bible, finding the very worst ones and creating merit badges for them.” It’s “just a matter [of time] until they invite homosexuals, active homosexuals, to be leaders of the troops and pretty soon you’re going to have the sodomy merit badge,” Buehner predicted on the show this week. “And after that I guess it’s incest; after that I guess it’s the cannibal merit badge, where I guess you cut up human flesh, fry it,” Swanson suggested with Buehner adding, “Cook it in a Dutch oven out in the wilderness.”

Colorado: Science Grants Only Given to ‘Radical Environmentalists’

Don’t you just hate how only those who “submit to the...orthodoxy of climate change by the radical environmentalists” receive all the grants for science research? Colorado Representative Mike Coffman is sick of it, he told a local radio station on Wednesday. First of all, he said, 97 percent of scientists are wrong about climate change. It’s “naturally occurring,” and “man-made activity influences out at the margins and I think it’s debatable how much that is.” Well, what do you expect from science when “radical environmentalists” are doing all the research?