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Was I Born Anorexic?
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A new study suggests that some are genetically predisposed to anorexia. This might explain why my bout with self-starvation started when I was a small child.
Just the other morning, my therapist and I agreed that pretty much everything wrong with me can be traced, in one way or another, back to my parents. This revelation, which has cost my insurance company thousands of dollars, is hardly groundbreaking. Long before the first neurotic was chained to an asylum’s basement wall, we have known that our parents ruin our lives. It has taken the miracle of modern genetic science, however, to discover that this is not totally their fault.
As a small child, I remember telling my mother that when I grew up I wanted to weigh 110 pounds.
According to a new and seemingly conclusive neuropsychological study, anorexia is the latest on the list of the various genetic maladies we can inherit from our parents. The researchers conducted neuropsychological testing on over 200 girls and young women being treated in hospitals for anorexia in the U.S., the U.K., and Norway. The results showed that 70 percent of the patients had suffered damage to their neurotransmitters, had undergone subtle changes in the structures of their brains, or both. They also found that these conditions occurred in the womb and were not due to external or environmental factors.
This news is of special interest to me. For a period of roughly three years, between the ages of 18 and 21, I suffered from a relatively serious case of anorexia. I know this revelation may be difficult to believe if you’ve ever seen me in a buffet situation (or if you have eyes), but I assure you the period is well documented in my medical and psychiatric records.
I say my case was “relatively serious” because I was thankfully spared many of the incredibly devastating and debilitating effects of this terrible disease in its gravest incarnation. My condition never required a feeding tube. I never developed premature osteoporosis or heart arrhythmia or suffered neurological damage. I did, however, lose hair in some places and grow it in others. The skin on my face and arms took on a mottled, yellowish appearance, like an old newspaper left out in the sun. I ceased to menstruate for about a year, which my doctor has said could have a lasting impact on my fertility. And at one point my blood pressure dipped so low that I was told I was in immediate danger of major cardiac arrest. All in all, my anorexia undoubtedly caused far more long-term damage to my body than any other of my youthful follies, such as habitual drug-taking, casual sex-having, or the time I dyed my hair the color of Tang.
Today, looking back, the period of my illness seems remote. To think of it now feels like hearing a traumatic experience recounted by a loved one—I can certainly sympathize, but it does not feel as though it happened to me. Still, the results of this study are, frankly, a relief. I have often wondered about the root causes of my bout with this most mysterious of disorders, and whether I was born with “an underlying vulnerability” to it, as the study’s researchers put it. What pushed me over the edge? Why did it happen to me?
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Jacob Bernstein is a senior reporter at The Daily Beast. Previously, he was a features writer at WWD and W Magazine. He has also written for New York magazine, Paper, and The Huffington Post.
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Lloyd Grove is editor at large for The Daily Beast. He is also a frequent contributor to New York magazine and was a contributing editor for Condé Nast Portfolio. He wrote a gossip column for the New York Daily News from 2003 to 2006. Prior to that, he wrote the Reliable Source column for the Washington Post, where he spent 23 years covering politics, the media, and other subjects.
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Jeff Madrick is a contributor to the New York Review of Books and a former economics columnist for the New York Times. He is editor of Challenge Magazine, visiting professor of humanities at Cooper Union, and senior fellow at the New School's Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis. He is the author of Taking America, The End of Affluence (Random House) and The Case for Big Government.
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Rachel Shukert is the author of Have You No Shame? And Other Regrettable Stories, and is currently at work on her second book, The Grand Tour. She lives in New York City.
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Rachel Shukert is the author of Have You No Shame? And Other Regrettable Stories, and is currently at work on her second book, The Grand Tour. She lives in New York City.
I'm just curious why DB would show a picture of a woman with a beautiful body to accompany this article, instead of someone more skeletal.
That was my first impression too. .oO(that woman is not anorexic she is quite sexy and defiantly has some major leg muscle) She looks more like the type who goes jogging a lot.
I think the point is that she's looking in the mirror, presumably critical of her body, despite the fact she looks great.
Sorry, my last comment got cut off. I apologize for that.
I also wanted to point out that you say that you say that models like Kate Moss and what not had no affect on your decisions to be anorexic, but you deliberately point to wanting to be as thin as Diana as something that motivated you.
I'm not sure how you can deny the role of celebrities and fashion models and other high visibility role models in this disease! Especially if you've ever looked over the many pro-ana sites and seen the kind of "thinspiration" this new generation of anorexics are looking at.
While you may not have cared about very many specific figures, I do think that seeing society idealize the body shape that you yourself were aiming for helped feed into the reward loop in your brain.
I know that on my own part, I AM heavily influenced by what I see, by the constant messages that I am hideous, that I ought to get surgery or go on radical diets, that I am unacceptable. I won't deny that seeing models strutting around as size 0's doesn't deeply impact me.
While I appreciate your obviously personal and thoughtful article, it is full of contradictions and I don't think it's very helpful. In fact, I think it's rather self-congradulatory.
Good for you, you're not one of us horrible fatties that they show headless on the news as an example of everything that's wrong and lazy and stupid about America. I'm glad you've at least got that going for you.
I think you might be right about models and celebrities influencing our self-image, but that doesn't mean they cause anorexia. Shouldn't there be a lot more anorexia cases then?
The media just gives us what we like to see, and that is pretty people. I don't believe that there is some conspiracy out there that indoctrinates people to be attracted to one ideal of beauty; science has already shown that there are some universal tendencies in what we find beautiful. Symmetry, broad hips and a narrow waist, large eyes etc. A skeletal figure is not on the list, by the way.
My point is that it might be better to accept that some people are prettier than others, just as some are smarter than others, instead of rather childishly blaming fashion models for everything. When I was a teenager, I wasn't exactly a model (and I'm not one today either). And ofcourse, when I saw a picture of Claudia Schiffer (yes, it's been that long), I was jealous. But on the other hand, she lived far away and didn't go to our school. The one that really made me feel like crawling under a rock and never show my face again, was my classmate Isabelle, thin, blonde, beautiful. If anyone would have had the power to make me go anorexic, it would have been her. I would have given anything to look like her, but I didn't, and I just had to live with that. Removing her from school property would have certainly made me feel better, but it wouldn't have solved the problem in the long run. It's better to just learn to deal with the fact that some people are more attractive, some are more popular, some better at sports, some smarter... .
It's true that pro-ana websites celebrate those sickly thin movie stars, but that doesn't prove that they are the cause. I think you can compare it with the link between violent videogames and young murderers; do these games create the murderer, or are potential murderers just attracted by these games?
Like Rachel Shukert says, people who suffer from anorexia are better off knowing the real cause of their disease (or the interplay of causes) than that they are taught to blame everyone and everything else.
I do think that our society often sets unrealistically high standards - not only about how you should look, but also about your lifestyle, what kind of job you should have, what kind of parent you should be etc. Some people are more vulnerable to it than others, and we all feel like we don't live up to the standards in some respect. But I just don't think that this, and definitely not this alone, causes a serious disease like anorexia.
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Why can't people take responsibility for their choices and their actions? Why do they have to make everything into a disease or some pre-ordained genetic "predisposition"? Sweetheart, I don't know if you're anorexic, but if you are, you decided to be. You chose not to put food in your mouth. You consciously tried to ape the models you see in magazines and TV. You denigrated your own body despite knowing the health consequences. If you purposely made yourself sick, as those with eating disorders choose to do, then don't blame anyone but yourself. And certainly don't blame your genes.
People with weak minds and weak wills. In the past, these people would be winnowed down by evolution and bigger problems than having too much to eat. Today, we coddle them with false absolutions of responsibility.
Pupster,
You do NOT understand. I used to think somewhat similar to you, but learned I was wrong. I have a 14 year old daughter who did not "choose" to be anorexic. She spent 71 days in the hospital because her brain would not allow....WOULD NOT...allow her to eat. It is still a daily struggle.
I hope that the understanding of the BRAIN DISEASE is just that: a disease. Some may choose to diet to be thin, that is an entirely different thing.
If you want to make comments about "it's a choice", then you should do some research and understand how devastating this disease is and how it can affect not just the person, but families.
No, AyeClaudius, I fully understand. I grew up in LA and lived my adult life in NY and over the world. I have had close friends with eating disorders. Very close, whom I have had to nurse through their ordeals.
Sorry to say that your 14 y.o. most definitely CHOSE to be anorexic, hobbled and aided by extremely bad self-esteem. Those values she learned while young, when her sense of what was valued in herself was formed. She bought into the idea that her looks were more important than anything else about her, and that through food she could control it. By telling her that she can't control it, that it is a disease, you enable her to keep on the path of destruction instead of forcing her to do the hard work to conquer it.
You think you are helping her by telling her it's not her fault, but it is and you helped her get worse, not better.
Anorexia is about as much of a choice as having a phobia. Once the irrational thought gets into your mind, it's hard to push it out. You know it's wrong, but you can't just say 'no' and get rid of it.
Most of these kinds of inherited tendencies also have an environmental component. I would bet that in a culture that did not obsess over thinness we would not see this problem. However, people with this tendency would probably exhibit some other excessive behavior aimed at being perfect, according to how this is defined by their culture.
I personally know a child who became anorexic in kindergarten. She eventually got control of her disorder when she was in high school, but continued to exhibit obsessive behavior in her attempts at physical perfection. She became an exercise and health food addict, neither of which is a threat to her health. Still her tendency to excess has never gone away.
I am writing in reply to "pupster."
You clearly don't know anyone who has endured anorexia. In college (about 15 years ago), I was anorexic. It was the most horrible, difficult, and challenging years of my life. It was truly like living in a nightmare that I had to work every day to get out of. Let me be clear: I did not CHOOSE to have anorexia. And I was not coddled and did not -- and still do not -- have a "weak will." I have always been hard-working, academically successful, independent, and social. For the past decades, we have teasing out the genetic, social, and psychological causes of anorexia, but as someone who has long ago successfully fought this disease and now lives a happy, successful life, I cannot tell you how unproductive it is to tell a former or current anorexic that they have not "taken responsibility for our choices." To me, this is similar to telling a person with alcoholism or bipolar disorder to just "snap out of it" and make better choices.
If you are so ignorant about the causes and severity of this disease, please do not comment about it.
Please note that anorexia only happens in countries where whiny women can get doctors and other to pay attention to them. Sometimes, it takes extreme means, like starving yourself. Yes, you really are special. Now, go lose some more weight. You look a little chubby.
Sorry, you CHOSE it. Perhaps not consciously, but hampered by whatever bad self-esteem you had, you CHOSE to damage yourself. And guess what? I would say the same for people who are alcoholics or smokers, though not those with bipolar disorder.
Conquering these sorts of demons is not easy. It's hard, and rough, and crippling at times. But many people do it, through sheer force of will and hard work. You are to be applauded for getting over your demon. You chose that too. You chose life and health.
Isn't anorexia a culturally placed self esteem issue?
Seriously, has anyone ever seen
a black woman suffering from an eating disorder,
where the culture embraces full figured
JUNK-IN-THE-TRUNK pride?
It isn't just middle class white women that suffer from anorexia, The disease itself isn't a self esteem issue, but suffering from it can lower your self esteem so it seems that way. It isn't even really about looks or wanting to be a certain weight, it just seems that way,
Yes, black women can suffer from anorexia as well, you just don't hear about it as often, the same way people don't talk about men with anorexia as much.
Gosh, what a lovely illustration. I wish I were anexoric.
The woman in the picture is anything but anorexic. If the intent is to illumiate the seriousness of the problem, how about a picture of what an anorexic person actually looks like?
In many cultures, the woman in the picture would be called "La Gorda" or "Lardass". She should lose about forty pounds. If she doesn't, her husband will cheat on her, and no one will find her a worthwhile human being. Sad, but true.
Even though anorexia is diagnosed with a bmi of 17.5 or lower (and loss of period in girls), you can be sick and look perfectly healthy, just like that girl in the picture. A lot of girls have an anorexic mind and starve themselves and never get to that walking skeleton stage that most people think of when they imagine an anorexic person.
No, You were born with the "look at me, look at me, I'm starving myself" gene. See, it's working! You now have an article on a second-rate website. By the way, you do look fat. Please lose some meore weight.
Why isn't The Daily Beast screening for assholes?
Please! I can tell from your use of a vulgar word that you are fat and unhappy. Please lose some weight, and clean up the potty mouth.
Rachel seems strangely comfortable with her anorexia, therapist and problems. I suspect M�nchausen syndrome.
The hyper focus on asthetics throughout the article struck me as the real illness.
I suppose genetics is why Obama is letting the CIA torturers go free and why Geithner was a tax cheat and why the car czar is under indictment for bribery.Makes me feel so muchbetter knowing this.
People who battle eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes.
This is very true, and a disorder that many people do not understand. Anorexia, or obesity,people think it just a matter of will power.And just like addictions, disorders, illnesses many factors are envolved.
We have been shaped by our movies, gaming ,music videos,,characters,cartoons,culture,magazines,fashions,tv, internet,all the cosmetic brush ups and touch ups in the media.!!!!None of us has escaped these past 30 years.!! Those are malais, of wealthy societies.!!!!!!We have been focused on looks, not necessities or survival.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!About children,,many children, hate, the taste of certain, foods, that can develop into major eating disorders.Because they hated the taste,or they were forced to taste it, and eat it,some love it etc. and others grew up hating whatever, and had no disorder.!!! But when 13 year old models, or 16, year,18 year old beautiful,girls,or guys,shaped our fashion world, everyone tried to be like cinderella.!!! and fit in a size 2......I believe subconciously ,it created, anorexia. culture. and country.!!! It has cost many lives, pain, and like anything young people do, as they get older it passes we get wiser.!!!There are many countries where people, women, are sick, and skinny and toothpick, because of hunger, or illness.!!!IThe world has been changing, the model world a few years ago, started, to let models, have more weight, the latin and black influence in music, fashion, and culture has also added curves,to our looks.!!!Also remember we have had a drug society.!!!it has kept thousands toothpick,and PLASTIC SURGERY>.!!!!Its wealthy societies, concerned with looks and youth.,The women and good men, good people starving, fighting for survival, couldnt care less.!!! We are the lucky ones, although, I think many of us are starting to go thru reality checks.!!!!!and we as a society have hurt, and been cruel and abused people into starving.!!Remeber we use to say you cant be too rich or too skinny???are these things related.The past 20 years became body building, excercising, and every form of reshaping. Its good I am not saying we need to be unhealthy,fat, and obese, but...................I have dear friends, who I admire and they are not concerned with their weight at . others, I respect the same, but we can only order chicken pallard,fish,and water......and a salad.always the same.
The key here is that the story (the original story linked to) states that genetic factors may make some people more at risk than others. This is not 'cause'. Also in the study, if the identified brain abnormality 'causes' AN, then everyone studies would have it. Instead 70% do. What about the other 30%? They don't count?
If you only study people who already have AN, how can you know if the so-called brain abnormalities were there at birth? The study co-author states that environmental factors can be rules out, but he refers to chemicals as environmental factors, not social factors.
You should not conclude anything from a news story about a study. The authors don't know what they are writing about. They might not even read the study, choosing to interview an author instead. There are lots of flawed studies out there. Also very important: who funded this study? Drug companies throw money at these people so they will 'prove' biological causes so that their drugs can become the standard treatment.
But, if psychotherapy can help these people, then clearly said 'brain abnormalities' are not THAT much of an influence, otherwise how would talking overcome that problem?
Painful personal experiences are not valid grounds to dismiss a biological cause. I am not as ignorant about mental illness to say people with AN are just weak or attention seeking either. I will suggest that the behavior of people with AN has MEANING. This is not wiring, but purposeful behavior. It may not be constructive, and you may not like it, and certainly want to stop, but there is a meaningful reason for it all the same.
Brain issues may add risk, parenting contributes as well. But neither (and even both) does not account for it all.
I'm a little confused as to why the banner headline for this article is "The Skinny Gene: Was I Born Anorexic?" Since when does "skinny" automatically mean "anorexic"? Let's not confuse the two like the image that is associated with this article does. I'm not sure that anyone would look at that image and think anorexic. We already have enough bad imagery in the media saying that "heroin thin" is in. Let's not go to the other extreme and vilify thin people too.
Anorexia is a very serious psychological condition with very real physical repercussions. But it does no one any good to confuse "anorexia" with being "skinny."
excellent point.
Arghhhh. I believe anorexia is, however unconsciously, admired in US/Western society, just as obesity is reviled.
Look at this silly article.
First, the word 'skinny' in the title. Who doesn't want to be skinny? A skinny gene, no less! Great! Of course, skinny isn't skeletal; skinny isn't what eating disorders produce. But who am I to quibble?
Then the picture of a shapely, well fed, fit model looking at her lovely self in the mirror. If that's anorexia, share it with the rest of us...but it isn't remotely accurate of an anorexic body, regardless of the presence of a mirror. Yikes!
As for the article itself: no one is aware of their unconscious mind- otherwise it wouldn't be 'unconscious'.
Ergo, your father's influence on your body image is greater than you know. The same goes for the constant images of envy in our media. Our emotional selves are not rational, nor are they all knowing.
Addictions- I consider eating disorders as addiction forms- prey on our human brains to lie to ourselves in many, many ways. Honest, scathing self inquiry and reflection is required to steer our desires away from places over which we have lost control.
DB, drop the coy wink, wink style about serious issues, for crying out loud. Who can possibly take anything but 'wow, those anorexics are the kind of skinny I want to be!' away from this piece? Double yikes.
From her name, I can only assume that Rachel is Jewish. Many Jewish parents, grandparents and other relatives continually discuss "looking Jewish" and how some woman can't be Jewish, she's too good-looking. Jewish girls are brought up to hate themselves because they are told (as are the little Jewish boys within hearing distance) that Jewish girls are ugly (and that includes, of course, fat) and only shiksas are pretty enough. So the Jewish boys go off in search of the "perfect shiksa" and reject girls of their own background. This has been going on for quite a while and I know it from first-hand experience. What has been referred to as a "Jewish American Princess" is really an overcompensation for Jewish girls feeling ugly because this is all they've been told. And Jewish men are also "carefully taught". Can anyone name a prominent Jewish man in America today who is married to a Jewish woman, besides Jerry Seinfeld, which was very surprising -- but then again his wife is suitably (very) thin and he's admitted he dislikes any woman seen as even slightly zaftig. There are no other Jewish men in American public life married to Jewish women but sure a lot of Jewish men married to their trophy shiksas. Over the last 40 years, I think statistics might show that more anorexic girls are Jewish than are not. Well, marrying "out" is one sure way of completing Hitler's plan of extermination.
Hadassah, stop the bitterness and please lose so much weight that every man (not just Jewish men) will find you devestatingly beautiful. It's not in your mind, you really are too fat ever to be happy.
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Your therapist sounds like a real tool. I'm curious as to whether you take personal responsibility for any of the things that are right with you, or if you blame your parents for all of those, too.
Give me a break. All behavioral diseases have an environmental component. Most seem to have genetic components as well. Far too many genetic diseases have behavioral components.
In short, pathological behavioral issues require an holistic approach to healing, and not one side.
It is eaully helpful for people dealing with these issues to understand the difference between 'fault' and 'responsibility'. Just because it isn't one's fault doesn't mean that it isn't one's responsibility.
And honest kindness helps a lot more than judgementalism.
I would be wary to draw conclusion from a newspaper article until the actual scientific article is peer-reviewed and published.
A lot of "presentations' to conference are never published because they are based on preliminary results that do not pan out.
In particular there seem to be several "strange" sentences in the Guardian article. The most obscure one is:
"They found that about 70% of the patients had suffered damage to their neurotransmitters" that is absolutely meaningless from a neurophysiology point of view. Neurotransmitter cannot be damaged.
I'm not saying that AN might not have a fetal/developmental component.
I'm saying that one article in the Guardian does not mean anything serious.
Every woman leaving a comment here should not waste her time. Better to over-exercise and limit your calories to 200 per week. Only then will you be thin enough to be a happy, worthwhile person.
What you don't mention is whether you were born thin. The relevance is naturally thin people - women especially - are so flattered in this society that if, for some reason (onset of middle age) they begin to gain weight, even needed weight because they're too thin, the temptation will be to reverse the trend, returning to the desired state of thinness by whatever means necessary (anorexia included) because they can't tolerate the thought of being heavier, not having been burdened by it throughout life. I know. I was born skinny, gained some weight during college (the dorm food, you know), actually dieted, and at some point effortlessly lost the weight and have stayed thin deeply into middle age. I mean 85 pounds on a 5'4" frame. In any case, I side with the environmental theory of anorexia, simply because the cultural approval is a learned value, not an inherent desire.
My husband prescribes medication for psychiatric illness and I get to hear a lot about what psychological illnesses are personality or physically driven. He always says no one knows why some succumb to a genetic predisposition and others don't. There is so little money spent on psychiatric research the answers may be a long way off.
Rachel's honesty and bravery in coming forward to discuss this is really something. I'm sure there are a multitude of people she has just helped by doing so and I wish her continued success in her recovery and growth.
Thank you.
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