A Tennessee judge says two parents can’t name their kid Messiah. From Superman to Mafia No Fear, here are some other things you can’t put on your child’s birth certificate.
Tennessee Judge Lu Ann Ballew forced two parents to change their youngest son’s name from Messiah to Martin this week, citing as a reason her belief that there is only one Messiah, and “that person is Jesus Christ.” The estranged parents, who were actually in court because they had been arguing about the baby’s last name, immediately said they’d appeal. And maybe they’ll win—Messiah was the 387th most popular name in the U.S. last year. Maybe they won’t, though; Ballew isn’t the first to ban the name. In New Zealand, hopeful parents aren’t allowed to name their children “Messiah” either, and the moniker is on a decades-old list of prohibited names. The government there has had to turn away at least two families who wanted to give that name to their children.
You may think that your little bundle of joy exhibits superhero tendencies. Most new parents do. However, if you live in Sweden, don’t even think about trying to name your child Superman. That simply won’t fly.
Let’s say you lived in Malaysia and wanted to name your kid the Cantonese name Chow Tow. You’d be giving your child a name that roughly translates to “Smelly Head.” And the Malaysian government won’t actually let you do it. In 2006, authorities there published a list of unacceptable names, which not only included Chow Tow but also Ah Chwar, which means snake, Khiow Khoo, which translates to hunchback, and Sor Chai, or insane.
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If you're going for a unique name, Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 is one way to get there. Pronounced “Albin” (natch), this name would be tough to fit on a passport or even on a nametag. Parents in Sweden decided that it was the perfect name for their son, but authorities wouldn’t approve it. They also tried naming him “A” but that was rejected, too. They were eventually fined almost $700 for failing to register a name by the boy’s fifth birthday.
Prince may have been able to change his name to a symbol for a while, but in many countries around the world, the authorities won’t let parents use punctuation as part of their children’s names. In China, government officials nixed “@” as a name. In New Zealand, officials said no to the “*”, or the asterisk symbol.
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A couple in Sweden named their daughter Metallica after their favorite band only to have government tax authorities refuse to register her name even though she had already been baptized. Their reasoning? The moniker was too closely associated with metal and a rock band. Plus, one official said the name was “ugly.” One judge sided with the parents, who argued that the name “suits her.” But the tax authorities appealed to a higher court, leaving the little girl without a passport and her travel plans in limbo.
Japan has strict naming laws that allow parents to give their children one first name and one last name. (That rule applies to everyone except for the imperial family, members of which only get first names.) The country does have a list of banned names that the government deems inappropriate. Akuma, which means demon or devil, is prohibited.
In New Zealand, you’re not allowed to name your child Queen Victoria. Kiwi authorities don’t allow names that could be considered offensive, are unreasonably long, or seem like an official title or rank.
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If there was a name out there that would command both respect and bring ridicule on the playground, it would have to be “Mafia No Fear.” Of course, if you live in New Zealand, you can’t give that name to your child.
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In Norway, the government strictly prohibits the use of monikers that include swear words, sexual innuendos, and diseases. But that doesn’t explain why in 1998, Norwegian authorities sent Kristi Larsen to jail for two days when she failed to pay a fine for her son’s “unapproved” name. The offending name? Gesher, which means “Bridge” in Hebrew. Larsen’s defense was that she was told in a dream to give her son that name.
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