14 Reasons Why Gwyneth Paltrow is Awesome
Attention, all Gwynnie haters: the Goopster is actually super great! Read on and you may change your Gwyneth-bashing ways.
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Gwyneth Paltrow has been crowned the world’s most hated, and its most beautiful, celebrity. The latter we can understand. But the former? Not so much. Check out these 14 reasons why Gwynnie is pretty friggin’ awesome. Because how could you possibly hate on Jay-Z’s vegetarian BFF?
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Paltrow showed up to Wednesday night’s Iron Man 3 L.A. premiere in what was essentially a sideless dress by Antonio Berardi. The floor-length gown was inlaid with giant panels of sheer fabric, making one thing clear: in Paltrow’s perfect world, undies are optional. How awesome is that?
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Williams-Sonoma—it’s a woodsy, spice-scented cooking store filled with endless Pinterest possibilities. But despite all of that culinary glamour, the chain isn’t exactly your go-to destination for women in tight skirts—with the exception of Paltrow, of course. She wore a body-con bottom to her cookbook signing at one of Williams-Sonoma’s Manhattan locations. We’d say she looked like a hot piece of meat—but she’s a vegetarian.
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In Paltrow’s Spence-educated world, blonde WASPs aren’t supposed to let their hair frizz. But she’s a chill enough chick to admit that her follicles have some rogue tendencies. Talking to People about husband Chris Martin, Paltrow said, “If I’ve gotten fully dressed up, he’ll be like, ‘Oh, wow! You’re Gwyneth Paltrow!’ Because he’s used to seeing me in baggy shorts and frizzy hair.”
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Leonardo DiCaprio loves himself some model girlfriends. But he does not have the same affection for meat. The actor briefed Paltrow on the innate dangers of being a carnivore. “I haven't eaten red meat in 20 years,” she told The Guardian, “and although Leo's not totally responsible, he definitely planted a seed.”
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Contrary to popular belief, Paltrow does not keep her kids on a restrictive diet. “I don't know where they get some of this stuff!” Paltrow told Dr. Mehmet Oz. "They say I don't give my kids carbs, and I'm feeding them seaweed ... I have no idea. But they eat Oreos, too, and they're normal kids.” There you have it—she lets her kids eat cream-filled starch bombs. Stars, they’re just like us.
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Configure your hands into that little Hova triangle and then throw them into the sky in celebration of Jay-Z and Paltrow’s epic friendship. Not just any friends, but “best friends,” as Paltrow once told Access Hollywood. Jay-Z even let her sing a duet with him on stage in 2006. Then Paltrow ignited controversy by adding some racist flair to her Internet presence when tweeting out one of the rapper’s more expletive titles. Because that’s what best friends are for.
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Paltrow’s winning turn at the 1999 Oscars in a pink gown by Ralph Lauren was really awesome. But three years later, the RL innocence had disappeared. Enter goth Gwyneth, a new look that came courtesy of an absent bra and Alexander McQueen. Rounded out with Courtney Love levels of smudged eyeliner and some Heidi braids, Paltrow’s look is still considered one of the red carpet’s worst-ever disasters. And because Gwynnie is awesome, she agrees. Paltrow wrote on her Goop site, “I still love the dress itself but I should have worn a bra and I should have just had simple beachy hair and less makeup. Then, it would have worked as I wanted it to—a little bit of punk at the Oscars.”
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Gwyneth Paltrow is awesome, partly, because she is one really cultured chick. She’s so worldly, in fact, that not only is she the daughter of Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow—she’s also the daughter of a city in Spain! Talavera de la Reina, the town where she studied at age 15, adopted Paltrow as its own in 2003.
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Watch and prepare to get jealous. The 1998 film, in which Paltrow co-starred with Michael Douglas, is filled with ’90s minimalistic finery. The look recalls Phoebe Philo’s designs for Céline—understated leather bags, supple shearling coats, and ribbed knit turtlenecks.
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Shallow Hal from 2001 had Paltrow facing her own presumable worst fear—being pudgy. But she strapped into a fat suit with grace, all in the name of acting. How could you possibly hate on that?
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Paltrow is an exercise connoisseur. In that vein, she’s developed an appreciation for fine spandex, so much so that she’s even teamed up with her trainer Tracy Anderson on a line of leggings for Edition 01. No word yet on whether they’re scandalously sheer.
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This week the Daily Mail wrote that Paltrow had ignited controversy by selling a line of little girls’ bikinis on her lifestyle website, Goop. Paltrow’s spokesperson fought back, labeling the uproar “absurd” and telling reporters that “two-piece bathing suits have been worn by young girls for decades.” Shut down like a true pro.
Some celebrities adopt accents after marrying men of foreign descent. But not Paltrow, even after her nuptials to British rocker Chris Martin of Coldplay. Sure, she has distinctive speech patterns. But they’re not faux Anglo. Leave that to her other BFF.
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On the gray scale of celebrity vices, a single weekly cigarette pretty much lands itself in the “adorable” category.
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