Speed Read

17 Craziest Bits From Joe Eszterhas Ebook About Mel Gibson, ‘Heaven and Mel’

Screenwriter Joe Eszterhas's new ebook, Heaven and Mel, captures some of Mel Gibson's most extreme outbursts and opinions. From the star’s profane attacks on ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva and his Holocaust denial to his enema machine use and hatred of John Lennon, the 17 craziest bits.

Mel Gibson once again finds himself in the unfriendly spotlight pending the release of Hungarian screenwriter Joe Eszterhas’ tell-all Kindle e-book Heaven and Mel. Eszterhas, well known for his screenplays for Basic Instinct and Showgirls, spent a good deal of time with Gibson while penning a religious epic that the star was going to direct. Gibson and Eszterhas connected in that they both saw themselves as devout Catholics aiming to spread the word of Christ through film. Eszterhas, having shunned his own father because of the man’s anti-Semitic writings in the 1930s, surprised many when he first announced the collaboration.

But the writer’s relationship with Gibson deteriorated as the actor-director’s anti-Semitic views became more and more apparent. The project was scrapped shortly after an explosive falling out between the two men. Eszterhas’ e-book describes in excruciating detail Gibson’s violent, racist, and downright odd rants, ramblings, and accusations. Reports of Gibson’s short fuse and ill-chosen words have become common, but this book gives an inside look at the extent of his over-the-top behavior. We take a look the worst of the worst from Eszterhas’ book.

1. Mel Gets Pulled Over in Malibu

In the summer of 2006, Gibson made headlines when he exploded into an anti-Semitic rant in response to being given a DUI in his hometown of Malibu, Calif. Eszterhas describes the ugly scene: ‘Mel Gibson told the deputy: “You motherfucker—I’m going to fuck you!” Gibson then told the deputy he “owned Malibu” and would “spend all of my money” to get even with the officer. He then added, “The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?”’

2. Gibson On Gay Men

Gibson seemed particularly perturbed about homosexuals: “In an interview with a Spanish magazine, Mel had gotten up from his chair, bent over, pointed to his butt, and said, ‘This is for shitting, not fucking.’ He repeated it for the interviewer: “They take it up the ass! This is only for taking a shit!”

3. Telling Oksana His Views on Oral Sex

While Gibson was being investigated for domestic violence against his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, in 2010, several recorded phone calls were leaked to the media. In the book, Eszterhas provides a full compilation of the crude remarks Gibson made to his newborn’s mother, including these regarding oral sex from Grigorieva:

“I should have woke you up and said — ‘Fucking blow me, bitch!’ I should have woke you up and said, ‘Blow me.’ You would have liked that better, yeah?”

“You went to sleep and didn’t blow me!”

“And I’m not giving you my house. You can rot! Unless you crawl back and suck my cock and say you’re sorry—in that order!”

“You should just fucking smile and blow me! Cause I deserve it!”

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“I’ll burn the goddamn house down, but blow me first!”

4. Physical Threats to Oksana

Mel also made a number of physical threats to Oksana Grigorieva in the recorded phone calls.

“I’ll put you in a fucking rose garden, you cunt. You understand that? Cause I’m capable of it. You understand that?”

“I don’t need medication. You need a fucking bat in the side of the head.”

“You need a fucking kick up the ass for being a bitch, cunt, gold digger whore!”

“I’m coming over there!”

5. What Mel Thinks of Oksana

The 2010 phone recordings portray what Gibson thought of his former girlfriend, with several comments directed at Grigorieva’s physical appearance.

“You’re a woman who sucks from me and just fucking sucks me dry!”

“Go out to the goddamn Jacuzzi—go and fuck the fucking Jacuzzi—it’s a thing! You have no soul!”

“You look like a fucking bitch in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it’ll be your fault, all right?”

“Your breasts are too big and they look stupid. They look like some Vegas bitch. They look like some Vegas whore. And you go around sashaying in your tight clothes.”

“If you get raped it’s your fault for showing off your fake tits, like they’re some special deal. How much did they cost, those fakers?”

“You’re a little girl with a fucking dysfunctional cunt!”

“Cunt, bitch, gold digger, cunt, whore—that’s what you are!”

“You don’t fucking count! You’re a fucking using whore!”

6. Mel’s Version of the Assault on Oksana

Eszterhas describes how Gibson often would digress from the topic at hand to rant about Grigorieva. In this instance, Eszterhas lays out how Mel described to him his version of the incident where he was said to assaul her.

“His eyes are almost glazed. ‘She says I assaulted her. Bullshit. I slapped her.’

“He gets up suddenly in his living room and acts it out. He approaches me and raises his hand to my face. ‘Gently,’ he says, ‘lightly.’ He taps my face. ‘And the dumb fucking cunt grabs the baby—hysterically—and runs out of the house into the back, down the hill, screaming. It’s pitch black out there! She’s got Luci! There are fucking animals out there! There are fucking mountain lions out there! And the fucking dumb cunt is running around with Luci!’”

7. On Co-Workers

Gibson describes to Eszterhas his sorrow regarding the direction in which the film industry is moving and trashes people he has collaborated with.

Of his co-writer on The Passion, Benedict Fitzgerald, he says, “He can’t write. I wrote that whole script. And then he had the balls to sue me for more money! I’m the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Of Randall Wallace, who wrote Braveheart and has worked on other films with him: “He’s a loser. He’s worthless. He wouldn’t have a career without me.”

On Brian Helgeland, who wrote and directed Payback and wrote Edge of Darkness: “I got him his first directing job and he turned on me. He’s an ingrate. He used me.”

On James Carroll, Catholic author and a columnist for the Boston Globe: “He’s a grade-A number one asshole!”

On Philip Anschutz, the head of Walden Media: “They fucked me in the ass. They ripped me off. He’s supposed to be a great Christian.”

On his longtime publicity manager, Alan Nierob: “Don’t ever mention his wig to him. It’s the ugliest wig anyone has ever seen. He’s a fucking pussy. When his sister died, I literally had to hold him in my arms.”

8. Mel’s enema machine

Eszterhas recounts how one day, while staying at Gibson’s Malibu residence, the star excitedly tried to persuade him to try out his personal enema machine. Eszterhas declined.

“…Mel says to me, ‘I’ve got this enema kit upstairs. It cleans all the poison and shit out of you. It’s better than a colonic. I’ll hook you up if you want. An hour later you’re done. Clean as a whistle.’

I thank him. It’s very nice of him to offer to hook me up personally to his enema kit.

Thank you, but no thank you!

‘You sure?’ he says. ‘You just sit there and you shit and shit and shit and you can’t believe what comes out of you! It’s like black sludge! And it smells so bad! It reeks!’

Mel smiles and says to me, ‘Come on, let’s go upstairs, I’ll hook you up.’”

9. Why Gibson Really Collaborated With Eszterhas

Gibson admits the real reason for wanting to make the “Jewish Braveheart” with Eszterhas—quite different from the impression Warner Bros. executives were under, that he was repenting for his anti-Semitic remarks.

“But one day when Mel is playing and laughing with Luci on the living room floor, he suddenly turns to me and says, ‘What I really want to do with this movie is to convert the Jews to Christianity.’

I ask him what that means, but he says nothing. He goes back to rolling around on the floor and laughing with Luci.”

10. On Jews and Human Sacrifices

Gibson and his friend, Maura, discuss their beliefs that the Torah depicts human sacrifices of Christians by Jews. Eszterhas responds that they are getting this info from an anti-Semitic source, but the two insist the Torah contains such information.

‘“Human sacrifices,” Mel says cryptically.

‘What human sacrifices?’ I ask again.

‘The Jews,’ Mel says, ‘they used human sacrifices.’

‘That’s bullshit,’ I say.

‘Christian human sacrifices,’ Maura says.

‘That’s complete and absolute bullshit,’ I say.

‘Babies and infants. Christian babies and infants,’ Mel says.

I laugh and say, ‘You’re out of your fucking mind, guys!’

Mel says calmly, ‘Look it up.’

I say, ‘You’re confusing the Torah with ‘The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.’ That’s probably the most scurrilous and bullshit anti-Semitic screed ever written.’

‘It’s in the Torah. Look it up.’”

11. Mel on Hiring Hit Men to Kill Oksana

Gibson’s death threats to ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva are referenced in the recorded phone calls but even more chilling are his statements to Eszterhas about having her killed.

“His back still turned to me, he says, ‘I’m going to have her killed.’

I gape at him: What did he say?

He turns slowly back to me and looks me in the eye. “I’m going to make her disappear,’ he says. ‘She’s going to be gone. Gone! And no one will ever know it’s me. No one! I’m not going to live this way the rest of my life! She is evil! They worship the devil where she comes from! She’s going to disappear!’

The air suddenly seems suffocatingly thick between us.

‘Don’t talk like this,’ I say. ‘This is crazy talk. You can’t talk like this.’

‘I mean it. I’ve talked to these ex-FBI guys. They’re going to help me to do it. No one will ever know! No one!’

He adds, “I’m going to fix it so that her fucking cunt of a mother can never enter this country again. I’m going to get rid of that cunt, too!’”

12. On Ari Emanuel

In 2010, Ari Emanuel, CEO of the William Morris talent agency, fired Gibson after a tape surfaced of the star saying “if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it’ll be your fault.” Emanuel has received some of his own criticism in the past for allegedly racist remarks.

“‘Ari Emanuel is a fucking cunt! Fucking Jewboy! He’s a cunt fucking Jewboy!’

13. Mel’s Guilt About His Promiscuity

In a conversation with Eszterhas, Gibson describes his shame for letting a young woman perform oral sex on him during a dinner party.

“‘GOD HAS TURNED HIS BACK ON ME,’ Mel says. He is upset, emotional.

‘No,’ I say. ‘God loves you. Trust God.’

‘No,’ Mel says. ‘He has turned his back on me.’

‘Why,’ I ask, ‘would God do that, Mel?’

‘I’ve been bad lately,’ he says simply.

I wait for him to explain it if he wants to.

‘I was at a dinner party,’ Mel says, ‘and there was this girl and she took me into a room afterwards and she went down on her knees … and I let her.’”

14. Views on the Holocaust

Gibson’s father, Hutton Gibson, is widely known to be a Holocaust denier. It seems his son has similar views.

“‘The Holocaust is mostly a lot of horseshit,’ he says.

I know he’s goading me. He knows how I feel about the Holocaust and about our ‘Jewish Braveheart.’

‘They’re just a bunch of oven dodgers,’ he smiles.”

15. On John Lennon

While in the car with a group of friends, Gibson reacts violently to someone’s delight at hearing a John Lennon song come on the radio.

“‘John Lennon,’ he says. He almost spits the name. ‘I hate John Lennon. He deserved to be shot.’

There’s a sudden silence in the car as the Lennon song plays. Naomi (Eszterhas’s wife) stares straight ahead.

Elizabeth says to Mel: ‘Dude! It’s the Beatles, man!’

Mel says loudly, ‘It is not the Beatles! It’s fucking John Lennon! He was fucking messianic! Listen to his songs, ‘Imagine’! I hate that song. I’m glad he’s dead.’”

16. Mel’s Feelings About Fans

Gibson may appear friendly and approachable to his fans but this anecdote suggests otherwise:

“A couple approaches Mel at a surf shop and asks if they can have a picture taken with him. He smiles graciously and says sure. He turns to Randy and hands him the camera and at the same time draws a line with his finger across his throat. Randy takes the picture.

After the couple has walked away, Mel says, ‘Did you chop off their heads?’

Randy is completely baffled.

Mel says, ‘That’s what I was trying to tell you. Never include the heads when you take the picture. Then it’s worthless.’”

17. On His Physical Appearance

Gibson has no problem criticizing others for their appearance, but it seems he doesn’t spare himself either.

“HE HURLS HIS CELLPHONE against the stone wall and screams, ‘I look so fucking old! I look horrible! That fucking whore (Oksana) is destroying me! She’s taking my looks! I hate her! She’s destroying my life!’

He is screaming full-throated: ‘Look at me!! Fucking look at me! Look how terrible I look! Answer me, God! Why did you turn your back on me! Fuck you! Fuck you!’

He steps a few feet away and screams into the sky, ‘I’m not gonna take it up the ass anymore and say, Thank you, your Honor!’”