Russell Brand Plays Dirty

The always-outrageous Russell Brand kicked off the evening by being, well, outrageous. He wasn’t afraid to poke fun at himself. “If after recent events you think it’s hypocritical of me to make joke about a celebrity beating up paparazzi, wait until you hear my jokes about short-lived celebrity marriages,” Brand joked. Still, the bawdiest bit by far was his extended riff on Michael Fassbender’s full-frontal turn in Shame, where he coined a phrase we hope to never hear again: “Fassbender’s pink pipe of acting wonder.”

Dirtbags Gone Wild

It’s hard to say which part of Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg’s presentation of the Best Dirtbag Award was more awkward: Mila getting heckled by a male audience member or a joke about historical dirtbags like ... Mother Teresa? Still, it was worth it to see Jennifer Aniston steal the award from Bryce Dallas Howard (The Help) and Jon Hamm (Bridesmaids) for her sociopath Horrible Bosses character. “Do you know how long I have tried to have someone let me unleash my on-screen dirtbag?” Aniston said.

Josh Hutcherson: Robert Pattinson 2.0

Josh Hutcherson cemented his place as the heir apparent to Robert Pattinson’s king of the heartthrobs throne with his win for Best Male Performance in The Hunger Games. He also made everyone over the 18–24 demo instantly feel old when he said he’d wanted to win an MTV Movie Award since he was 4.

Charlie Sheen: “My Life Has Been a Party Movie”

There’s no more apropos choice than Charlie Sheen to pay tribute to MTV’s pick for Instant Cult Classic, Project X, and other party movies past and present with a mashup that calls out the hallmarks of the genre—including beer, babes, and destruction.

Kristen Stewart Cozies Up to Herself

Robert Pattinson wasn’t in attendance to help Kristen Stewart collect their fourth consecutive Best Kiss award, so Stewart appealed to her Snow White and the Huntsman co-stars, Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron, as well as her Twilight co-star Taylor Lautner, to come up and lend her a hand. All demurred—much to the chagrin of Team Jacob fans everywhere—so Stewart showed off her ability to get handsy with herself.

Johnny Rocks Out

While collecting his Generation Award, Johnny Depp took some time out to rock the guitar alongside the Black Keys. You know, in case you weren’t properly convinced of his coolness. He called the Generation Award the “Get Out of the Business Award, you’ve done too much,” and said that based on his movie clips, “there’s something wrong with me.”

Worst Archery Teacher Ever

If you’re wondering how Jennifer Lawrence got so handy with a bow and arrow in The Hunger Games, well ... you’re going to have to keep wondering, because it definitely wasn’t thanks to the tutelage of Lester Boonshaft, played to perfection by Joel McHale in this hilarious sketch.

The Dark Knight Rises

MTV always uses their movie awards to showcase the hottest summer films, and this summer there’s no hotter prospect than The Dark Knight Rises, which rolled out exclusive footage, including an extended look at Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman.

Twilight Still Tops

Twilight proved it’s still the titan of teen entertainment, beating out The Hunger Games and Harry Potter for Best Movie with Breaking Dawn: Part 1. It’s refreshing when a star doesn’t shun the franchise that made them a household name. Case in point: Kristen Stewart said that, while she’s been promoting Snow White and the Huntsman, she’s been asked if she’s ready to distance herself from her Twilight experience, to which she says, “Shut up.”