yes You would

Admit It: You'd Totally Live in a Castle

It's a buyer's market for fortresses in upstate New York. Heck, a 36,000 square foot castle will run you less than a million bucks.

But really: think of the possibilities.

If Obama continues to debase our currency to the point where Ron Paul was right (note: I'm kidding - Goldbugs will probably never be right), you'll want a castle to keep out looters.

If zombies are unleashed, where better to defend yourself than a nice brick fortress?

And if "shit hits the fan", you're basically set. You're now the owner of the prime defensive location in a smallish town in rural New York state, and you'll enjoy the coming feudal age with joy.

But even if you never need to use a castle for its real purpose, you'd be the owner of a home with 50 rooms, its own gymnasium, and a well lit dungeon. Between taxes and utilities, it's only about 40 grand a year to keep lit and heated, and you'll always have visitors.

And, when Al Gore finally succeeds in forcing every American to cease using carbon-based fuel sources, you'll have prime property near the area's primary shipping lane - the Erie Canal.

What could possibly go wrong?

*Note: this article is mildly in jest. I would totally live in a castle, but it's entirely unnecessary in 2013 (or so we think).

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Justin Green

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