Amy Schumer has made no secret of her love for Hillary Clinton, expressing her support close to a year ago and dancing with the candidate on The Ellen DeGeneres Show a few months later. On Thursday night, she did her best to put to rest any clichéd worries about a woman in the Oval Office.
After a Veep-inspired opening in which we learn that “Amy Schinton” has been elected the first female president of the United States, Inside Amy Schumer launched into a sketch that summed up every man’s biggest fear about what might happen if someone of the opposite sex is in charge.
“I got my period on my first day?” Schumer’s president character says after discovering she also has 200 million new Twitter followers. “OK, OK, OK, you can handle this. It’s not ideal for the first day. It’s not amazing. But you can do anything. You’re the president.”
In the middle of an emergency meeting about the situation in Iran, President Schinton is forced to pause to ask her Cabinet, “I’m sorry, but does anyone have any Advil?” She adds, “I have epic cramps and my mind is like, mush, right now, if I’m being real.”
Later, while meeting with an Israeli official, she snaps at him for taking the last piece of chocolate. “You’ve been eating all of them, you could have just at least asked me!”
And finally, during a Navy SEAL operation to take out “Adele Dazeem,” a pajama-clad President Schinton asks if they can “take five” so she can change her tampon. “Today’s been a bear, does anyone else feel like that?” she asks as the Osama bin Laden stand-in gets away.
“Stop yelling at me!” she whines when the men in the room start attacking her. “Why are you being so mean? You guys, I can’t be president because I got my period! Does anyone have anything they want to say to me? Like, maybe an ‘I’m sorry,’ and ‘You’re my president?’
The sketch ends with another newspaper headline that references a recent controversial Glamour cover: “IS PRESIDENT SCHINTON PLUS SIZE?”