And the Winner Is…Who Rocked the VMAs Red Carpet?

So, Miley Cyrus has been quiet lately. Miley Cyrus is quiet no longer. Barbarella, bondage, and Space 1999 meet in this barely there, totally Miley effort. And she’s stolen some of Amber Rose’s chain mail. Love you, Miley.

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Amber Rose, Blac Chyna, and their posse brilliantly wear the epithets—like “Slut,” “Whore,” and “Faggot”—thrown at them and other women and gay people on social media and the street, and make a literal fashion statement. Bold, welcome, and brilliant. Insults held up to a mirror, and those who use them shamed right back in their faces. Triple thumbs up.

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Vanessa Hudgens decided not to go shopping this year and instead attacked her drapes at home, while also grabbing for a daisy stenciling kit. Result: Victoriana dreariness. But also resourceful!

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Restraint and playfulness come to Taylor Swift-land in at least her first outfit at Sunday night’s VMAs. Dogtooth-check meets rainbow in a long-sleeved crop top/skinny pantaloon combo. The gorgeous, gamine fringe has been stolen from Mia Farrow, c. Rosemary’s Baby.

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Demi Lovato and a classic case of: Oh No, Do Not Let the Dress Wear You. Props for it being interesting, props for sleek hair, but the dress mumsily curves in the wrong places. And it looks uncomfortable. Looks like a slidey night in store for DL.

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Behold the knicker-revealing open-panel dress as worn by Gigi Hadid. But really, behold a very young women looking 40 years older, thanks to a bit too much time spent in the sun, or swiping a tub of John Boehner’s finest. Gigi Hadid is not only wearing orange. She is orange.

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Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are Style’s favorite people: They are gorgeous, sexy, and look like lots of fun. Here she is stunning, turning heads, with everything sheer and dramatic and hot.

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Nicki Minaj channels Cher at her Bob Mackie finest. A giant glass of Champagne, with, ummm, some artful craft-work where it matters. This counts for VMA modesty.

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Ciara knows you must not smile wearing this. It’s Game of Thrones meets slashed curtains. This is gothic angst with a couture flourish. And...tassels!

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Helen Lasichanh, a model, and husband Pharrell Williams do denim so well. No hat this year—not yet. But denim as it’s meant to be worn. Hotly. By both sexes. Doubled up.

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Kylie Jenner goes for modest gold—the most beautiful have to make the least effort.

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Tan Yeezy Boost 350s, as my colleague Emil noted...When oatmeal meets beige meets ecru meets toffee meets, well, shoulderpads, plus lace-up midriff, plus dress slit—this equals outfits that say Kim and Kanye are in the house. And the world can just puzzle over it, as it will puzzle. Can you stop staring? Us neither.

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The best thing about Justin Bieber is that he always looks perfectly like the hottest ’80s baby dyke. Again, delicious here.

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I love Britney Spears because she just looks like, “Hi, everyone, some stylist shoved me this. I know bits are missing from it. I know it doesn’t make sense. Whatevs. Wanna hit the bar? Great.”

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And the Winner Is…Who Rocked the VMAs Red Carpet?

Miley Cyrus was all Barbarella and bondage. Taylor Swift came in a restrained crop-top. Amber Rose turned abusers’ words back on them…the early hot arrivals at the VMAs.

Tim Teeman