As the Ponzi king heads to prison, he suddenly has a lot of time on his hands. Andy Borowitz recommends five books that should keep him busy for the next 150 years.
Writer and comedian Andy Borowitz's work has appeared in Condé Nast Portfolio, the New Yorker and The New York Times. His Web site is BorowitzReport.com.
This week's Newsweek cover story unfortunately focused on the least interesting person in the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal: Eliot Spitzer. As a public service, satirist Andy Borowitz has fabricated the following profile of the significantly more interesting Ashley Alexandra Dupré.
Lindsay Lohan tried converting to Judaism to save her relationship with Samantha Ronson. No surprise, says Andy Borowitz: Her movies are filled with subtle but rich Talmudic themes.
Some foolproof rules for the savvy investor: Hiding money in mattresses is too risky. Mothers can’t be trusted. And the average dog can beat the S&P 500.
‘A personal matter,’ says president-elect.