How Big Is Obama's Package?

At a press conference in Washington today, President-elect Barack Obama repeatedly refused to answer questions about the size of his package, calling the subject “a personal matter.”

Again and again, reporters attempted to get Mr. Obama to tell them exactly how big his package was, but the president-elect was steadfast in his refusal to quantify it.

“If I tell you the size of my package, some of you will think that it sounds too small, “ he said. “And others will be uncomfortable with how big it is.”

The president-elect seemed to indicate, however, that the size of his package may vary according to the circumstances.

“Depending on what is going on, my package could grow significantly larger,” he said. “It all comes down to the amount of stimulus.”

The president-elect apologized for his vagueness about his package, telling reporters, “I know you’re having a hard time getting your arms around it.”

Mr. Obama’s Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, later indicated that the president-elect does plan on unveiling his package for the American people, probably at his inauguration.

“This will give the American people an opportunity to finally grasp his package,” Mr. Emanuel said.

Writer and comedian Andy Borowitz's work has appeared in Conde Nast Portfolio, the New Yorker and The New York Times. His Web site is BorowitzReport.com.