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Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, on trial for accusations of sleeping with an underage prostitute, testified on Thursday that he had no "intimate ties" with the then-17-year-old. Although Berlusconi is accused of having slept with her on 13 occasions, he said that there were never events "of a sexual nature" in his home. He further claimed that his stories of "bunga-bunga" sex parties were always just a joke. Sure, Mr. Berlusconi, we believe you.