Twistin' My Melon Man

Bez To Stand For Parliament

Jim Dyson

He was, in his day, one of the great totems of Manchester's 'Madchester' rave scene.

But now Mark Berry, aka Bez, the official mascot of Shaun Ryder's band the Happy Mondays, who became a celebrated icon of the eighties despite the fact he did nothing but stand on stage dancing (if you can call walking jauntily backwards and forwards whilst playing the maraccas 'dancing') is planning to stand for election as an MP.

Yes, it’s possible that winning Celebrity Big Brother has gone to his head.

Bez, who was known to wear T-shirts saying, "Drop Acid Not Bombs' said he plans to contest the constituency of Salford in Greater Manchester after former Labour Cabinet minister Hazel Blears said she was stepping down at the next election.

He told the Manchester Evening News that he wanted to 'stir things up' and said one of his policies would be a ‘permacultural society where we'll end illness and get everybody back to an alkaline state’ thereby tackling cancer and dementia.

He told the paper: ‘If you're voting for me, you're voting as a protest about what's happening in the world at the moment.”

Bez will kick-off his political career by joining anti-fracking protesters at Barton Moss this weekend before taking part in a protest the following day.

He added: “I’ve been saying we need a revolution and there’s no good shouting about it when you’re not actually doing anything.”

His policies for his future constituency of Salford are less clear, however.

“I don’t know yet, I’m in the midst of writing it up,” he said.

No doubt he will be able to call on his band mate Shaun Ryder for support in his campaign.

Ryder recently disclosed that he had seen a giant UFO hovering 50 feet above him.

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“It doesn't look real,” he said of the encounter. “It looks like it's made out of Airfix kit. They look like toys…. a gigantic 40-foot Airfix kit.

“How no one in the Swinton Worsley bit of Salford can not have seen that craft, only me, is beyond belief.”