The logo for the Daily Beast's Obsessed website. It reads: 'Obsessed: What to Watch, Binge, See, & Skip'
DAILY BEAST
CrosswordNewsletters
  • Cheat Sheet
  • Obsessed
  • Politics
  • Crime
  • Entertainment
  • Media
  • Innovation
  • Opinion
  • World
  • U.S. News
  • Scouted
CHEAT SHEET
    POLITICS
    • Biden World
    • Elections
    • Opinion
    • National Security
    • Congress
    • Pay Dirt
    • The New Abnormal
    • Trumpland
    MEDIA
    • Confider
    • Daytime Talk
    • Late-Night
    • Fox News
    U.S. NEWS
    • Identities
    • Crime
    • Race
    • LGBT
    • Extremism
    • Coronavirus
    WORLD
    • Russia
    • Europe
    • China
    • Middle East
    INNOVATION
    • Science
    TRAVEL
      ENTERTAINMENT
      • TV
      • Movies
      • Music
      • Comedy
      • Sports
      • Sex
      • TDB's Obsessed
      • Awards Shows
      • The Last Laugh
      CULTURE
      • Power Trip
      • Fashion
      • Books
      • Royalist
      TECH
      • Disinformation
      SCOUTED
      • Clothing
      • Technology
      • Beauty
      • Home
      • Pets
      • Kitchen
      • Fitness
      • I'm Looking For
      BEST PICKS
      • Best VPNs
      • Best Gaming PCs
      • Best Air Fryers
      COUPONS
      • Vistaprint Coupons
      • Ulta Coupons
      • Office Depot Coupons
      • Adidas Promo Codes
      • Walmart Promo Codes
      • H&M Coupons
      • Spanx Promo Codes
      • StubHub Promo Codes
      Products
      NewslettersPodcastsCrosswordsSubscription
      FOLLOW US
      GOT A TIP?

      SEARCH

      HOMEPAGE
      Entertainment

      Bill Maher Calls Out Trump: ‘Show Us the Dick Certificate’

      CHALLENGE

      The host of HBO’s ‘Real Time with Bill Maher’ weighed in on GOP presidential frontrunner Donald Trump’s claim that he has “no problem” downstairs.

      Marlow Stern

      Updated Apr. 13, 2017 4:33PM ET / Published Mar. 04, 2016 11:12PM ET 

      HBO

      Bill Maher, the outspoken comedian and TV host, and Donald Trump, the orange real estate mogul turned leading Republican candidate for president, have an interesting history. In the midst of Trump’s racist birther crusader against President Obama, Maher made a crack on the Tonight Show joking he’d donate $5 million to charity if Trump produced a copy of his birth certificate to prove he’s not the “spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan.” Now Trump, who isn’t the biggest fan of the First Amendment—and has never met a lawsuit he didn’t want to file—sued Maher for $5 million over the joke (he later withdrew the suit), leading the comic to tell the thin-skinned heir to “suck it up” on his program Real Time with Bill Maher.

      So you knew Maher would have a field day with Trump’s insane performance in Thursday night’s GOP debate in Detroit, Michigan.

      For those who missed out on the madness, Trump defended the size of his hands—and other possible shortcomings—during the debate. He felt moved to do so after fellow Republican candidate Marco Rubio had fired back at Trump for calling him ‘Little Marco’ by mocking Trump’s tiny hands with the line: “And you know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them.”

      “Look at those hands, are they small hands?” exclaimed Trump during the debate, extending his lil digits to the viewers. “And, he referred to my hands—‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

      If that weren’t enough, after Mitt Romney delivered an impassioned speech branding Trump a “fraud” and “phony,” the Twitter aficionado said that when Romney ran for president in 2012, he “would have dropped to his knees” for his endorsement.

      “After a week capped off, by the way, by the debate last night where the Republican nominees are belittling each other over weenie size, the current Republican frontrunner is talking about the Republican nominee from last time blowing him,” said Maher on Real Time. “And then, Donald Trump yesterday was on Good Morning America or the Today Show—one of those—and said, ‘Once I’m elected I will be very, very presidential… Yes, once I’m elected, but until then Mitt Romney can suck my dick.’”

      Then, Maher did his best to unpack Trump’s penis proclamation—a veritable comedy gold mine if there ever was one, but also low point for American politics. “Could there ever be a better argument for a women president than the fact that the members of the other party are arguing over their dick size?” said Maher. “I could not believe Trump last night. This was, like, in the first two minutes of the debate. He had to respond to this accusation, which, if you haven’t been following, Marco Rubio all week was saying that Donald Trump has small hands, and you know what they say about men with small hands? Yeah, they put up tall buildings with their name on them.” “So, Trump had to make sure everybody knows he didn’t need to make his penis great again—it was already great,” Maher continued. “He actually came out there and said, ‘I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee you.’ Over to you, FactCheck.org. And maybe we should, you know what? I mean, come on: Trump lies about everything else, we gotta know. Come on, Don, you’re the guy who made Obama show his birth certificate. We need proof. Show us the Dick Certificate. Let’s see it.”

      The Real Time host also managed to sneak in a joke about Ben Carson bowing out of the race—you know, the soft-spoken neurosurgeon who cameos in terrible Hollywood movies, once boldly claimed to have disarmed a gunman at a Popeye's using only his words, and believes the pyramids were built to store grain.“I noticed they waited for the black guy in the race to drop out before they started comparing their dick size, so you know what, Republicans? Just forget about delegates and have a dick-measuring contest,” joked Maher. “Reince Priebus can come out with a ruler, whoever’s got the biggest wins—and has the chance to have Hillary lop it off in the general election.”

      Marlow Stern

      @marlownyc

      Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.

      READ THIS LIST

      DAILY BEAST
      • Cheat Sheet
      • Politics
      • Entertainment
      • Media
      • World
      • Innovation
      • U.S. News
      • Scouted
      • Travel
      • Subscription
      • Crossword
      • Newsletters
      • Podcasts
      • About
      • Contact
      • Tips
      • Jobs
      • Advertise
      • Help
      • Privacy
      • Code of Ethics & Standards
      • Diversity
      • Terms & Conditions
      • Copyright & Trademark
      • Sitemap
      • Best Picks
      • Coupons
      • Coupons:
      • Dick's Sporting Goods Coupons
      • HP Coupon Codes
      • Chewy Promo Codes
      • Nordstrom Rack Coupons
      • NordVPN Coupons
      • JCPenny Coupons
      • Nordstrom Coupons
      • Samsung Promo Coupons
      • Home Depot Coupons
      • Hotwire Promo Codes
      • eBay Coupons
      • Ashley Furniture Promo Codes
      © 2023 The Daily Beast Company LLC