“What a week!” exclaimed Bill Maher. “The Confederate flags are going down, and the rainbow flags are coming up—which made it a very weird week for Lindsey Graham.”
Indeed, it was one of the most eventful weeks in the Obama presidency. Following the racially-motivated Charleston massacre, public opinion turned against the Confederate flag, with even Republican politicians who’d been adamant supporters of the symbol of hatred and division reversing their stances and calling for the flag to be taken down.
And on Friday, the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in a landmark 5-4 decision. Naturally, several of the GOP’s presidential candidates had choice words for the ruling.
“Of course, the Republican candidates for president are all against this—but they took the news with grace and good will. I’m joking, of course. They all went completely ape-shit and said crazy things,” said Maher. “‘We will not honor any decision,’ Rick Santorum said, ‘which will force us to violate our clear, biblical understanding.’ Mike Huckabee said, ‘The Supreme Court can’t overrule God.’ Bobby Jindal said, ‘This ruling paves the way for an all-out assault on religious freedoms of Christians.’ Fellas, you do realize that this is not mandatory. You don’t have to have sex with another man—it’s just an option now. OK, I just wanted to make that clear.”
“They’re such drama queens, aren’t they?” he added.
As a segue of sorts, Maher aimed his ire at Bristol Palin, who announced that she was expecting her second child.“And the conservative block on the Supreme Court, all four wrote dissenting opinions—all in caps. But, you know what? The two women that Obama appointed on the Supreme Court proved the difference. They calmly pointed out that the marriage ruling in this case is keeping with the ideals of America. But it sets a very good example for Bristol Palin,” said Maher.“Am I making this up? You’ve heard about Bristol Palin,” he continued. “I don’t usually go after the children of candidates, but Bristol… she had the first baby out of wedlock, got paid to be an abstinence spokesman, and is now pregnant with her second child out of wedlock. I mean, this chick can see Russia from her bed! Instead of shooting wolves, Sarah Palin should have them raise her kids!”