Book: Cruise Wants to Vanquish Aliens

Not a bad gig. In a bombshell book on Scientology, Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, & the Prison of Belief, New Yorker writer Lawrence Wright explores Tom Cruise’s status in the church—and what the ultimate goal of the church is. This, reportedly, is to stop destructive aliens from living in our bodies and destroying the world. The Risky Business star is No. 3 on the totem poll and has signed a whopping billion-year contract to serve the church. Here come the lawsuits.