Bristol Palin, The Situation, More Dancing With the Stars Recap

From Bristol Palin’s fox trot with the homeless to Jennifer Grey’s sexy samba, WATCH VIDEO of five of the stories that caught our attention this week.

Bristol Palin Ignores the Homeless

In the aftermath of Boo-gate, Bristol “The Pistol” Palin came out with guns a-blazing for her fox trot. The story was simple: Mark Ballas was a homeless man who, after first being rejected by the junior grizzly, woos her with his insane dance moves. Unfortunately for Palin, the routine didn’t resonate with the judges (or make much sense). For now, let’s just assume that Palin’s dance was a was a complex critique of the Obama administration’s stance on the homeless.

The Time Machine Situation

While The Situation scored with a Canadian on Jersey Shore last week, this week on DWTS his futuristic and awkward fox trot failed to elicit much enthusiasm with the judges. Clearly pulling from science-fiction classics, The Situation explained that his story was about a “time machine and all kinds of crazy stuff.” As The Black Eyed Peas song “Boom Boom Pow” played, he channeled his inner Frankenstein and turned in arguably his stiffest performance on television yet. If he makes it through this week, he’ll have to focus less on schmoozing with partner Karina Smirnoff and more on what the judges labeled a “lack of musicality.”

Jennifer Grey Seduces Her Student

First-place contenders Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough danced the samba while acting out a passionate fling between a student and a teacher. Thanks to some props—Grey’s glasses and Hough’s sweater vest—we finally came close to seeing what would happen if Sarah Palin and Saved by the Bell’s Zack Morris had a fiery romance. Though Bruno Tonioli was able to fit the words “cougar,” “sexy,” and “mistress” in the same sentence when praising Grey’s cleavage-bearing and midsection-thrusting performance, some tangles with choreography resulted in a slightly weaker score than past weeks.

Audrina’s Performance of a Lifetime Movie

Audrina Patridge's waltz told the story of a Marine coming back from the grave to give his final dance. The emotional and sometimes overwrought performance was the high-scoring act of the night. “I have to dig really deep,” Patridge said in practice. “I mean, really deep.” Patridge wanted to give America the chills. Instead, maybe she’ll get another show on MTV about military wives.

Margaret Cho’s Proud and Drunken Samba

Who’s dressed like a showgirl in a rainbow-colored dress with yellow feathers in her hair? It was none other than comic Margaret Cho, dancing a samba to the story of “pride.” Unfortunately, no matter how proud Cho was of her moves, her lack of practice because of touring and what Bruno attributed to “too many drinks” doomed Cho’s dance from its flamboyant start. Cho’s performance was about being proud in the face of criticism, so you can’t knock her for that. Next time, maybe a more cohesive plot might win the judges over.

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Sujay Kumar works at The Daily Beast. He's written for MTV Splash Page and The Daily Illini.