Where to start with Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s dad. The father of four children with ex-wife, Dina Lohan, he was scarcely out of prison—the first time—when Lindsay began her career at Ford Models. Lohan’s role in Lindsay’s success—or downfall, take your pick—has long been disputed: In a 2005 interview with New York magazine, Lohan insisted his wife, Dina, was trying to steal Lindsay’s fame and fortune for herself. “All my life, I supported them,” Lohan said. “And then, when Lindsay finally hit, I could see it coming: how Dina was starting to mold, get all her friends around her, have her family around her, and start siding with them.” Despite Lindsay’s 2005 song “Confession of a Broken Heart” that said she is part of “a family in crisis that only grows older,” Lohan would not be deterred: he routinely tried to pitch reality shows based off his life. Lohan even has accused Dina of snorting coke with Lindsay in the past and wrote Billy Ray Cyrus a letter saying “Why I ask, if it so hard for our wives, children and even the public, to see that all we are trying to do, is to be there for our family and try to make things right?”
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These days, Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart” is about his 18-year-old daughter, Miley. The singer announced last week that he wished his daughter’s show Hannah Montana had never happened. “I’m scared for [Miley],” Cyrus told GQ. The Disney show “destroyed my family,” Cyrus went on to say, admitting he was more a “friend” than parent to his daughter. Although Cyrus claims to hate “that damn show,” he starred alongside his daughter for years and stood by during some of her more public scandalous moments, including a 2009 topless photo in Vanity Fair.
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Is Mitch Winehouse the famous daddy in daughter Amy’s song who doesn’t think she needs rehab? If so, it’s not that surprising. As long as Amy’s misdeeds with drugs, alcohol and criminal activities have made the news, her family has been out front and talking about them—and making money. Winehouse admitted in 2010 that he “loved” the limelight, which is not surprising after allowing a documentary about the family, titled My Daughter Amy to be made. But perhaps his most cringe-worthy moment as a stage father occurred in 2009, when he told the world his daughter’s breast implants were “fantastic.”
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Long before Jessica Simpson became known as “ sexual napalm,” she was a minister’s daughter—and a self-proclaimed “daddy’s girl,” at that. Although Jessica has long insisted there is nothing strange about her relationship with her father, there have been a few suggestions otherwise. Simpson has made comments about his daughter’s breast size (“ She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”), and also took photos of Jessica nearly naked in bed. But Jessica defended her father, saying “My family is extremely close… that’s nothing that creeps me out. We’re Podunk Southern. And my dad is very open about his ideas and… it’s disgusting that people would actually think… People are making false judgment on something that is false.”
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When David Archuleta first appeared on American Idol in 2008, the 16-year-old captured hearts everywhere—for his adorable demeanor and his singing voice. But within a few weeks, stories about David’s father Jeff Archuleta were everywhere. A judge on Star Search, where David had been a contestant four years earlier, deemed Archuleta the “ worst stage dad” and tabloid reports of Archuleta screaming backstage on Idol were everywhere. Archuleta insisted the stories of him yelling at his son were “crazy.” Archuleta did admit he was probably more involved than most parents’ in his son’s career. David defended his dad, insisting his dad is a “ great guy” who “keeps [him] grounded.”
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The Spears girls were the original Disney stars-turned-disaster, and their father, Jamie Spears, paved the way for stage dads everywhere. A member of the Mickey Mouse Club as a young girl, Britney hit it big at 16 with “… Baby One More Time," and before her 18th birthday, she was dancing provocatively on any stage that would have her. But within a decade, Britney’s life became a train wreck and after her meltdown, Spears was calling his daughter “ a sick little girl.” After she was hospitalized for bipolar disorder, Spears became the conservator of her affairs, managing all her money and personal affairs. Although many have praised Spears’ role in turning his daughter’s life around, Britney said in a 2008 documentary For the Record that having her father have control of her life meant “there’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail, you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day.”
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Who could forget how adorable Macaulay Culkin was in Home Alone? The story becomes less cute when it came out Macaulay’s career as a child star was the result of his father’s doing. Kit Culkin ruled the family—Macaulay called the Culkins his father’s “kingdom”— with humiliation and abuse. Culkin had been an actor on Broadway himself, and quit his own job to manage Macaulay’s career. Macaulay has described his father as “abusive” to his family—a charge Culkin denies—and a “screamer” as a manager, and even Macaulay’s lawyer Ken Weinrib described Culkin as being “toxic” and controlling Macaulay’s finances solely for power. After Culkin and his wife filed for divorce, Macaulay learned how much Macaulay was worth—some $50 million—and sued to have control of the finances. Culkin never even showed up to the last day of court for the bitter custody dispute he had launched—something Weinrib said was due to loss of control over his children’s life.
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The original stage dad honor goes to the father of Michael and the rest of the Jackson singers. From the first days of Jackson 5—as well as daughters Rebbie, La Toya and Janet—Jackson managed the careers of his children. All of the Jackson children have recounted abuse by their father, who has long claimed he had only wanted the best for his children’s careers. Michael said his father would “whip” him if ever missed a note or step, even at the height of their fame. And yet Jackson shows no signs of stopping: He has said he believes Michael’s children will be stars.
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Tatum O’Neal and her father, Ryan, charmed audiences when they played the con-man duo in 1973’s Paper Moon. Thirty-five years later, Ryan O’Neal hit on Tatum—not recognizing her as his daughter—at his longtime love Farrah Fawcett’s funeral. O’Neal called himself a “hopeless father,” saying his four children “are all either in jail or they should be.” When asked if he was sorry he had children, O’Neal said “a couple of them, I would take back.” O’Neal’s son Griffin had no kinder words to say about his father, describing O’Neal as “very abusive, narcissistic psychopath. He gets so mad he can’t control anything he’s doing.” The two are now starring on a reality show on Oprah Winfrey’s network.
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