Why be pretty when you can be petty... and pretty! While the rest of us were busy deciding which Katy Perry concert tee to wear to the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty, Chrissy Teigen has been quietly taking internet trolls, Piers Morgan and Geraldo Rivera to task, pouring a piping-hot cup of oolong all over her Twitter feed.
When online vigilantes started criticizing Kristin Cavallari for “starving” her kids, Teigen tapped into her inner mama bear, tweeting, “I will never know why parents criticize others so harshly, knowing they’d go insane if they were on the receiving end ALLTHETIME…anyway, love you @KristinCav and screw everyone’s bored ass!” Having decided to make a day out of this whole Twitter thing, Teigen also quickly took down alleged sexual harasser Roger Ailes apologist Geraldo Rivera with a well-crafted one liner:
Teigen, who we like to imagine is perpetually drunk on John Legend and day wine, was just getting started. On Tuesday, The Huffington Post published a heartfelt article penned by Jennifer Aniston, who used pregnancy rumors as a jumping-off point to discuss tabloid scrutiny and gendered injustice in Hollywood. Of course, walking caricature of white male privilege Piers Morgan felt the need to write a huffy response in The Daily Mail. Enter Chrissy Teigen, who once again proved herself to be the hero that Gotham deserves, bravely taking on Morgan in a Twitter exchange that made me very uncomfortable.
Chrissy came out strong, asking Piers Morgan of his piece on Jennifer Aniston, “Why do you ALWAYS take the road of being the piece of shit asshole?… particularly with women and people of color. tell me it’s just for clicks?? Please tell me you aren’t TRULY this vile.” Morgan, who is, in fact, that vile, proceeded to accuse Teigen of throwing a “diva tantrum,” and advised her to “hush before your sanctimonious spleen bursts”—although he did forgive her “childish impudence” on account of John Legend’s genius.
After graciously thanking Morgan on behalf of her hubby, Chrissy informed him that “my husband thinks you are one of the most misogynistic, condescending morons on the planet.” The legendary Mrs. Legend gracefully bowed out soon afterward, having come to the realization that the only thing less fun than arguing with an irrelevant misogynist is arguing with an irrelevant misogynist’s thesaurus.
Chrissy Teigen, who clearly loved The Hills but also watched The Revenant because she’s chill AND cultured, knows that there’s more to life than being ridiculously good looking. When she’s not fighting pop culture crime, the Lip Sync Battle host and New York Times bestselling author is working on So Delushious, a celebrity lifestyle blog that won’t make you want to kill yourself. On top of everything, there’s the aforementioned Twitter feed, which is chock full of #funny and #relatable content like, “Kate Middleton just gave birth to a future king and I just threw up wine almost into the toilet, it’s like we’re the same people.”
If you choose to become one of Teigen’s more than 2 million followers, you will quickly learn that Chrissy Teigen is just like you, but better. Her vagina also hurts when she watches gymnastics, and she, like you, has noticed that John Legend has a great butt. While Chrissy Teigen is clearly amazing all year, this seems like as good a week as any to shout out our imaginary best friend/celebrity hero.