‘Tis the season of giving and Donald Trump has been spreading his largesse around ever since his election triumph.
If Santa Don has his way, there will soon be partying at the Pentagon with Pete Hegseth, RFK Jr. will be focused on holiday health, Kash Patel will be sending out subpoenas with his Christmas cards and Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy will be stripping all the baubles and tinsel down from the Capitol offices to save on cash.
Just as long as the grinches in the Senate don’t force him to make any returns.
As the holidays approach, the president-elect may also be looking forward to ways he can share his good fortune with the rest of the nation.
With that in mind, here’s five ideas for Donald’s wish list for the holidays:
World Peace
Okay, it’s going to take a little more time than he originally thought, but he’s got this. Putin, Jinping, Assad, Kim Jong Un, Netanyahu, they’ll all see sense in the end, just as long as they understand who’s boss. Trump insists that if he had been president the wars wouldn’t have started in the first place. He’s going to stop the conflicts in the Middle East and between Russia and Ukraine. But it might not all be done by the New Year.
Jan. 6 Day
Trump says that one of his first tasks, when he gets into the Oval Office, will be to pardon the January 6 “victims.” To Democrats, GOP “Pencers”, law enforcement, the judiciary, and at least half the country they are criminals who broke the law and jeopardized democracy. But it’s Trump’s Christmas and he says they’re heroes. In the U.S. Virgin Islands, they already take off Jan 6 for Epiphany, also known as Three Kings Day. It’s also National Technology Day. What’s in a name? More than 1500 people have been charged in connection with the Capitol attack. It could be Freedom Day for many of them, at least.
A Giant Bottle of Schadenfreude for Joe Biden
Trump needs to get a gift for the outgoing president. After all, Biden gave him an early holiday present when he changed his mind and decided to pardon his son, Hunter, thus losing the moral high ground and giving the incoming president carte blanche to pardon whoever he wants without reproach. Biden won’t need any more eggnog; the president already has enough egg on his face.
Get Out of Jail Free Card
Every incoming administration official could be gifted a special Monopoly board game with a gold-plated Get Out of Jail Free card. You never know when it might come in handy.
MexiCali Dreaming
California never voted for Trump and his buddy Elon Musk has moved out. Then part of the Republic of Mexico, California was invaded and conquered in 1846. Now it costs $8 for a coffee in L.A. Time to give the Democratic state back to Mexico? He can replace it with Greenland.
