CATASTROPHE

Elon Musk Defends Cat-Killing Robotaxis

The Tesla CEO used the death of a beloved bodega cat to shill for self-driving cars.

Tesla exec Elon Musk has defended self-driving cars after a Google-powered robotaxi sparked heartbreak and anger when it ran over a beloved ‘bodega cat’ in San Francisco.

KitKat, a nine-year-old tabby affectionately nicknamed the “16th Street ambassador,” became famous for playfully greeting every customer who entered his owner’s corner store.

“He was a one-of-a-kind cat,” said Mike Zeidan, KitKat’s owner and the proprietor of Randa’s Market, where the tabby spent his days. “He brought joy to so many people. People loved him.”

KitKat, considered the mascot of his San Francisco neighborhood, met his untimely death on Monday.

Zeidan was jolted out of bed after receiving a report that KitKat had been involved in an accident, Mission Local reports. According to eyewitnesses, a self-driving Waymo taxi swerved around a nearby driver and “hit the liquor store’s cat that was sitting on the sidewalk next to the transit lane. The vehicle “did not even try to stop,” and continued its journey without acknowledging the collision.

News of KitKat’s death shook the neighborhood and prompted an outpouring of grief online. “It’s sad. Everyone’s heartbroken,” resident Jessica Chapdelaine told Mission Local. I’ve been crying all day and night. He was everyone’s best friend, and he was just the sweetest boy.”

But it didn’t take long for certain corners of social media to downplay the community’s tragedy and attempt to shill for self-driving cars.

“5.4 million cats are hit by cars every year in the U.S., and 97 percent of those cats die from their injuries,” an X account titled @WholeMarsBlog posted on Friday. “Autonomy will dramatically reduce that number.”

An hour later, the post reached the attention of Elon Musk, who retweeted it and added, “True, many pets will be saved by autonomy.”

The comments were soon picked up by Musk’s sycophantic fans, with one tweeting, “Buy Tesla. Save Cats.”

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Another took the opportunity to cynically capitalize on the outpouring of grief generated by KitKat’s death, creating a cryptocurrency named after the beloved cat and promoting it with an AI-generated animation of the feline.

“$KITKAT isn’t another meme. It’s emotion turned into momentum,” the account wrote.

“Born from a real story that moved people, $KITKAT unites a community that stands for more than hype. This cat isn’t chasing trends, it’s creating them. No one can stop $KITKAT.”

In San Francisco, however, residents are mourning Kitkat’s death more organically. A shrine to the beloved cat has been erected outside Randa’s Market, where grieving locals have left flowers, candles, KitKat bars, and ceramic cat figures around a series of photos of the feline.

“Kill a Waymo! Save a Cat!” a sign placed on the altar read.

Waymo has yet to respond to the news of KitKat’s death.

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