Looks like Paris’ most annoying tourist will not be bidding the city “au revoir” just yet. On Wednesday Netflix announced that it had renewed Emily in Paris for a second season—just over a month after its surprisingly controversial premiere. (What can we say? The algorithms don’t differentiate between those who watch and those who hate-watch.)
But what will Emily do for 10 more episodes in good ol’ Paree? After all, she already became an overnight social media star thanks to brilliant turns of phrase like “#OhCrepe,” had an affair with one of her only Parisian friends’ boyfriends, befriended someone who once bombed on Chinese Popstar, and endeared herself to one of France’s most influential designers with a well-placed Gossip Girl reference! What more can the city offer to top all that?
Luckily for those of you who just can’t wait, The Daily Beast can now report that we’ve tracked down these totally real, not-at-all fabricated plot summaries to tide you over. Some of these ideas seem a little avant-garde, but hey! Who are we to dispute the creative brilliance of Darren Star—who, it bears repeating, is definitely the one who wrote these.
Episode 1, “Eau My God”: Eager to ignore Camille’s increasingly frantic texts, Emily packs 23 baguettes into a clutch and invites Gabriel to swim with her in the Seine. He tells her that is not a thing, so she spends the day taking selfies in front of the Louvre Pyramid—and informing people of her belief that its designers ripped off the Apple cube in Manhattan.
Episode 2, “Allons-y, Gen-Z!”: Sylvie locks Emily in the basement after she hijacked a meeting to deliver her 34-slide presentation about why Savoir needs a TikTok. Two hours later, she’s forced to let Emily out when her dance video about French pronouns inexplicably goes viral.
Episode 3, “French Exit”: Ashley loses both children she au pairs. Emily is too busy coming up with “croissant” puns to help look for them.
Episode 4, “Ménage à Trois”: Camille finally tracks Emily and Gabriel down after days of ignored texts. When they confess to their tryst, Camille lightly shrugs, murmurs “C’est la vie,” and suggests a throuple. Gabriel’s into it; Emily is not.
Episode 5, “Liberté, Égalité, Lingerie”: Emily comes to work only to find that every man she’s ever met in Paris has decided to send her a La Perla lingerie set.
Episode 6, “French School Dropout”: Concerned that Emily has now been attending her French class for several months but only retained a few stray words and the sentence “Je suis un chat noir,” Emily’s French teacher suggests that she see a neurologist. Emily informs her that she also knows “Je mange une pomme.”
Episode 7, “Défense de Fumer”: Emily tries a cigarette and doesn’t like it.
Episode 8, “Exit Through the Gift Shop”: Mathieu calls Emily to remind her that he, too, exists in this show as a love interest for her, for some reason. Emily misses the call after being arrested in the Catacombs clutching a human skull, insisting to police that she had no idea the bones were not souvenir replicas.
Episode 9, “Le Breakup”: Gabriel dumps Emily and storms out of her apartment with his prized cast iron skillet after she spends an hour trying to convince him that marketing is interesting. Camille is too busy sampling wine with her new, hotter boyfriend who actually likes her mother to answer their calls. Gabriel and Emily get back together that same night.
Episode 10, “Coup de Grâce”: Emily faces a defamation lawsuit from the City of Chicago after disrespecting legendary deep dish eatery Lou Malnati’s. Between this and the Catacombs arrest, Sylvie finally has enough ammo to fire this obnoxious upstart once and for all. She silently smokes a cigarette and grins as Emily packs up her corporate commandments and leaves.