JAILBAIT

Fiona Apple Discusses Hash Arrest

At a concert, in a very confusing way.

After being arrested at a border crossing in Texas for hash possession, singer Fiona Apple reflected on her brush with the law to a concert audience in Houston on Saturday. Out on $10,000 bail, the notoriously eccentric singer had some roundabout words for discussing her ordeal. “We’ll call them holding cell one and holding cell two,” Apple prefaced. “In holding cell one is the encoded version of the shit that you did that I know was inappropriate and probably illegal ... I’m the only one who holds the key, and you and I will be intimate forever, because I will hold that secret forever. Unless you’re interested in being a celebrity, I’ll make you fucking famous any time you ask, and I’ll open those boxes.” We’d make fun, but have you heard how great her new album is?