PAYDAY

Goldman Sachs' Blowout Profits

While the rest of America is still reeling from the economic crisis, Goldman Sachs is back on track and bringing in billions of dollars only a month after the bank repaid bailout funds. Analysts predict that Goldman will report profits over $2 billion in the period stretching from March to June, The New York Times reports. Those fortunate enough to work at Goldman will benefit greatly from the profits: $18 billion will be distributed among the company's 28,000 employees. Described as "the envy of Wall Street," the company is unequaled in its ability to play the world markets. The company, according to observers, is able to manage risk in a way far superior to the competition. Brace for the populist outrage when the earnings report is released Tuesday.