From Superman’s ‘Man of Steel’ to Spider-Man’s spandex suit, The Daily Beast uncovers the evolution of the modern superhero schlong.
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Who knew Batman and Robin had nipples? In 1997’s Batman & Robin, George Clooney left nothing to the imagination in his matte black bat suit, complete with a prominent codpiece and eternally erect nipples. Chris O’Donnell, portraying sidekick Robin, appears just as manly, with an equally—if not more—pronounced package. They don’t call him “The Boy Wonder” for nothing.
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With all that wall-climbing and swinging on spider webs across New York City, there’s no wonder Spider-Man requires a full-length, skin-tight, Spandex suit to fulfill his civic duty.
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Christian Bale’s Batman is tall, dark, and handsome. He’s brooding, sensitive, and exceptionally well-endowed, or at least his batsuit is. The Batman bulge controversy dates back to the 1960s—especially in scenes with Julie Newmar (who played Catwoman) who caused “strange stirrings in my utility belt.”
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Lucky for us, Brandon Routh’s Clark Kent didn’t abandon the signature Superman tights and bright-red undies (Speedo, diaper—whatever you want to call it)—leaving his super man front and center for more than half the film.
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Jon Osterman, better known as Dr. Manhattan or “that blue guy from Watchmen,” isn’t afraid to let it all hang out. Wearing nothing more than a blue banana hammock, or sometimes nothing at all, the superbly muscled and hairless Osterman doesn’t give a damn that his wang is hanging out.
Warner Bros./Everett Collection
While Captain America’s getup may be more modest (cargo pants, really?), Chris Evans still manages to show off his best assets in military-inspired garb. In 2012’s The Avengers, his costume got a bit of a revamp, trading in bulkier shoulder pads and combat boots for a sleeker—but equally patriotic—bodysuit.
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Giving new meaning to the phrase “My Spidey sense is tingling,” Andrew Garfield wears his Spandex well. The British actor shows off his tall, gangly figure, but ensures his tight-fitting costume keeps the queen’s jewels on full display.
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Gone are the days of Spandex for this year’s Man of Steel. But while 2013’s Superman might have a sleeker outfit—dark blue bodysuit made from armorlike material, his man of steel—he remains on full display.
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